A Weasel Wiccan Witual


Participants in floppy witch hats enter, bearing the Holy Fhood and Drinkh. Arrange tastefully around altar area. Prominent should be the Golden Apple of Eris, which is set upon the altar by itself.

Call Watchtowers, lighting quarter candles at each. Suggestion invocations:

EAST, being Air, signifies media and mass communications. Invite the Marx brothers, Firesign Theater, Douglas Adams, and Robert Anton Wilson, and, of course, the Illuminati, as representatives of Chaos. (Squeeze squeaky toys)

SOUTH, for Fire, signifies fidelity to ideals. I suggest John Lennon and our witch ancestors, whose bravery in defense of the Sacred Right To Be Strange led to the ultimate sacrifice. May we be as brave, but luckier. (Hide the Matches.)

WEST, for Water, signifies here the Waters of Life, i.e.: Bhooze. Invite W.C. Fields along with Dionysius and Osiris (inventors of wine and beer, respectively.) (Slug some eggnog.)

NORTH, for Earth, signifies the Ultimate Mystery: Life, the Universe and Everything. Toast the Mystery itself and invite it to relax, take off its cloak and join us for awhile. (Hide a cookie.)

And to provide a fifth point: SKY, for Eris, Our Mother, Lady Luck Herself, Lady of Chaos and Dealer of the Inside Straight. Hold up the Golden Apple, hail Her enthusiastically and invite Her to the party.

Close the Circle, which is, of course, semi-permeable to weasel-kind.

Light altar candle; assume *ahem* serious demeanor. Whoever is to read, don silk hat and drape a sock for a priest's vestment. Proceed:

"For unto us is born a Saviour, who is Coyote, Pan, Loki, Raven, Dionysius, and Robin Hood; to save us all from Santa's power when we have come to play, o tiding of chocolate and toys. And Io, neither is his Mother a Virgin, for She believeth in a good time. And when He came forth, She wrapped him in a National Enquirer and cradled him in her top hat, which holdeth all the stars of all the skies plus 500 foolproof card tricks; and the Wise came to Marvel (and to DC) because indeed and forsooth, they knew trouble when they beheld it."

And Eris, the Great and Terrible, said to her son:

"Kid, this is a special occasion; how should we celebrate?"

And the Tiny One spoke, surprising all but the Mother of the Unexpected:

"let's have lots of Fhood, and create the most chaotic and demented animal of all to play with. And since I have a feeling that this party will be repeated many, many times, let's make that a rule: anyone celebrating My birthday should do the same. For I am the Glitch and the Song and the Gambler's Luck, and I love Surprises-which will never be lacking with Them around. Let them do this in honor of Me."

And Eris was pleased and created The Weasel (hold one up).

"This is the Sacred Weasel, beloved little monster, honored pest, dearest of Holy Terrors and Agent of Entropy Everywhere. May it always remind us that Eris and the Kid love Surprises."

(Hold up plate of cookies:) "This is the Holy Fhood; we share it in Their names, and with the wish that we should always keep Life as interesting and strange as possible."

(Hold up Holy Bhooze:) "This is the Holy Spiked Eggnog; we share in with the understanding that reality can always use a little bending."

Share all, general hailing, toasts, silliness, woozle snoozling, tricks and demonstration of weasel arranging. Guard honored guests of all species from overindulging in and/or diving into eggnog. Songs excellent idea.

Open circle whenever you feel like it.

Fara Shimbo, an ethologist living outside Boulder, Colorado with her husband Robert, ferret, Ruby, Siamese cat, mong, and Thoroughbred Hunter, Official Dude (AKA Chewie). She is main honcho of Ferret unity and Registration Organization (FURO), a weasel warrior of renown and author of "The Ferret Book" (see review GE83) and, with Bill Phillips, of Ferrets and the New Inquisition, published by the California Domestic Ferret Association (Box 1861, Healdsburg, CA 95448. She is editor-in-chief of The Weasel Help Monthly, (wonderful!) newsmagazine of FURO, available by joining FURO, PO Box 18193, Greensboro, NC 27419.

This is the story of Rabbit.

A long time ago- No one knows how long ago it was- rabbit was a brave and fearless warrior. Rabbit was befriended by Eye Walker, a witch. The witch and Rabbit spent much time together sharing and talking.

One day Eye Walker and rabbit were walking along and the sat down on the trail to rest. Rabbit said "I'm thirsty." Eye Walker picked up a leaf and blew on it...it turned into a gourd of water...he handed it to Rabbit. Rabbit drank the water and didn't say anything. Than he said "I am hungry"

Eye walker picked up a stone and blew on it...it turned into a turnip. She gave the turnip to Rabbit...He tasted it and than ate the turnip with relish...but didn't say anything.

The two continued along the trail, which led into the mountains. Near the top, rabbit tripped and fell and rolled almost to the bottom. Rabbit was in very sad condition when Eye Walker got to him. She used a magick salve on Rabbit to heal his great pain and mend his broken bones. Rabbit didn't say anything.

Several days later Eye Walker went searching for her friend. She searched high and love but Rabbit was nowhere to be found.

Finally Eye Walker gave up. She met Rabbit quite by accident one day. "Rabbit, why are you hiding and avoiding me?" the witch asked.

"because I am afraid of you. I am afraid of magick," Answered Rabbit, cowering in fear. "Leave me alone!"

"I see." Said Eye Walker. "I have used my magical powers on your behalf and now you turn on me and refuse my friendship."

"I want nothing more to do with you or your powers," Rabbit countered. He did not even see the tears his words were bringing to Eye Walkers eye's. "I hope we never meet and that I never see you again." Rabbit continued.

"Rabbit" Eye walker said. "We once were great friends and companions, but no more. It is within my power to destroy you, but because of the past and the medicines we have shared together I will not do this. But from this day on I lay a curse on you and your tribe. From now on, you will call fears and your fears will come to you. Be on your way, for the sweet medicines that bound us together as friends are now broken."

Fast Forward
Kindly Pagans, White Supremacists Hold Dueling Gatherings In Southern State Park

Keep the Faith
Young black women are leaving Christianity and embracing African witchcraft

CBN News
Atlanta Church Hires Psychic Medium to Minister to Congregation

The Week
The princess of Norway and her shaman lover

Religion News Service
Getting in on - and tossed out of - the Satanist Temple joke - Religion News Service

More Articles

More News
Quote of the moment:
Sarcasm helps you avoid telling people what you really think of them.

This site has received hits since Aug 4, 2000

The entire content of all public pages in The Pagan Library (graphics, text and HTML) are free information, released under the terms of the GPL. All copyrighted items mentioned are the property of their respective owners, and no form of ownership or endorsement is implied.

Last modified: August 19 2018 14:52:43