Questions!

[Mahala]

As I learn more and more, I start to ask... more and more. Reading a few posts got me to thinking, and I want to know. My apologies ahead of time for the length, I just like to have background included in questions... It helps me think it through as I read the answers, like connecting the dots. I often see that which I've overlooked once before! Anyways... you can answer one, part of one... or if you're a go-getter, ALL of these! I'll be sure to write these in a journal to think over once more later on. Also, thanks in advance to those who answer! You're so very patient and smart, I envy you.


1) Working with other Wiccans/Pagans. (This needs a bit of explaining, hold on tight!)
There's a few others at my school that I can feel the different 'texture' of their auras. I knew something was a bit different about them before I found out they were all pagan or Wiccan. One is a previous Catholic, but if I ask her something about something I read or looked up, she won't give me a definite answer. ("What do you usually do for Beltane?" *crickets...*)

The other is a hereditary Witch, but she's even more discreet about her practice, and I'm fine with it. The third is another one, who is just about as experienced as I am... He claims to my friend who plans to join us (another question coming up!) to become Wiccan that he cleansed, consecrated, and charged her bracelet, yet when I picked it up it made my hand get really uncomfortably hot. (I couldn't interpret any aura, or 'charge' coming off, which is a knack I have for objects that I've found - I can 'read' them like energy records.)

My problem is this - The last two are very negative people... I just don't see how they could come up with any other energies. I'd love to have someone show me a few things they know, but not if it's going to taint my own pond with negative influences. How do you guys get around these sorts of people? Especially if they're friends?


2) Working with other, less experienced students who don't want to do much more than try and form a cult of Oogy-Boogy witches who have no idea what they could be doing, much less why they're doing it.
Something gets under my skin about a friend who doesn't take Witchcraft seriously, that it IS a religion and NOT a clique type thing. Is this normal? Is it bad? She wants to study with me, but I don't want to be held back by someone who isn't as dedicated to study and practice as myself.


3) Being 'numb' to certain energies the first few tries you try to find them.
Except for my energy record reading, I can't tell what an item's been charged with. (Although if it's potent, boy can I feel it!) I think this is a problem with myself, that I don't 'believe' I should or can feel these energies. I tried to have a chat with a friend's cherry tree and I could feel a paper-thin barrier of negative thoughts on my part that was between us. Is it normal to be a bit over-reserved or self-protective? Is it my imagination?


4) Guilt for not having the right environment or circumstances to actively practice, or being too constantly overworked/tired/emotionally sick to do a ritual.
As you guys might know by now, I live in a very strict house. I can barely get candles and incense for decor, nevermind trying to do a ritual or meditation in privacy. I would love to, absolutely LOVE to be able to practice without hiding, without fear of being found out, and without fear of being reprimanded for something I want to believe. I constantly have a barrier of fear now that if I start acting differently or believing differently, mom or dad will notice and the war will begin, or that I must always watch over my shoulder for people who might rat me out. I'm not completely free to believe in that which I want to... and it's tearing my mind to pieces. I feel immense guilt at not being able to practice, even if the God and Goddess understand that right now just isn't the greatest time. I think this carries over as a form of asking the higher powers for forgiveness even though it's not needed. I still can't shake the feeling though. is this normal? Is it just me? Are there ways to get around it?

Part of the problem is that I live in a house that has soaked up 20 years of negativity. I'm away from home, I feel better than anything. (Clogged chakras?) My emotions are so muddy and sometimes just a complete mess, which makes finding any time to do rituals, very hard. When I last did a ritual, I faced an energy blowout... Something short circuited and I was left exhausted and confused for two weeks. (Needless to say, I learned not to attempt magick when my body and emotions are unstable!) Meditation will remedy this, but as soon as I get back home, whabam! It's back.


5) Fearing for my safety or feeling stupid when I recite prayers or perform rituals.
I do pray, at least once a morning, silently. The minute I start saying the short prayer I wrote to the Goddess, I feel fearful, apprehensive, and stupid for feeling that way. As mentioned above, I'm scared to say any possibly Wiccan text aloud, should someone in the house hear me and start the war. Is this good, or bad, or am I just imagining it?


6) Feeling unworthy to call myself by the title of Wiccan, fear of inexperience or a need of attention showing through, and feeling unworthy to practice in general because of habits, or other's opinions.
Sometimes I feel like just giving up, but I've come too far to quit now. (I thank the invisible motivator for poking me in my bum to finish what I start for that.) I feel like I have no right to change religions, and bother numerous others for help, like a five year old. I really hate it when I sound stupid trying to ask someone something when I can't even come up with the proper names and vocabulary. I always feel it's going to be like Sunday school again, where they're going to pound into my head that I'm inferior because I don't know this or that yet. On occasion, I feel that I'm only doing this for attention, even though that temptation has long worn off. I ask a LOT of questions, but mainly because I need a LOT of answers. (How does it work? Why? What if... And then? Why doesn't it work? Can you do that to other things? What does it do to other things? Why? - That's how it usually goes.) I've started taking it even more seriously because I do want to change and I don't want to repeat what has already happened, I.E. my parents and myself.

As an LDS believer, I was taught I could do whatever, whenever, to a certain degree, and all I had to do was repent. But now, if I do it, I don't have to repent, but I do have to face the fact that the Goddess and God may not be so happy with their willing student being a very bad example of Wiccans and the over-stressed fear that any higher power will cold-shoulder me whan they end up unhappy with me kicks in. (Side question: What about swearing within Wicca?) I fear changing my life drastically in a short time, but over a few years I know I can do it; I have proof. But I don't feel like I really need to because other people tell me this isn't what I should be doing. (My parents disapproving in my study makes me feel like they really don't care if I change for the better, to be a better adult.)

This stuff I know for a fact is mostly me, but why? I know I am worthy to become a Witch, I feel such a likeness in the God and Goddess that I have never before felt in the LDS God. They are my divine parents and they've welcomed me home as a family would their long-lost child.

[Dark Waters]

1) Working with other Wiccans/Pagans. My problem is this - The last two are very negative people... I just don't see how they could come up with any other energies. I'd love to have someone show me a few things they know, but not if it's going to taint my own pond with negative influences. How do you guys get around these sorts of people? Especially if they're friends?

It is a question I ask myself many times as I seem to be a magnet for these types of people as well. When in advanced training for the Army, I ended up with a group of friends that identified themselves as a hereditary druid, a white witch, and a dark witch trying to change to become a white witch. Made for interesting times to say the least. I do think that is part of the problem we as a group may have. Our definitions and titles of ourselves and others are fluid and mean different things to different people.

As far as the negative energies are concerned - that may be hard to place. Simply because the energies they produce is not sympathetic to yours doesn't mean that they can't teach you anything. If you learn their method or process you can try to duplicate it with the flow of your own energies. Then if it still feels negative to you, desist, but you really don't need to trade energies with them. At the very least, you will get practice hardenening your shields against those energies. BTW, I love the image of a pond for your own energies.

2) Working with other, less experienced students who don't want to do much more than try and form a cult of Oogy-Boogy witches who have no idea what they could be doing, much less why they're doing it.
Something gets under my skin about a friend who doesn't take Witchcraft seriously, that it IS a religion and NOT a clique type thing. Is this normal? Is it bad? She wants to study with me, but I don't want to be held back by someone who isn't as dedicated to study and practice as myself.

Another good question, I also find those that learned all they need to know about Witchcraft/Wicca from Buffy and Charmed very, very irritating. However, you can also think about that these people were placed in your path for a reason. Not necessarily for you to teach them, but to act as a signpost. You can lend or recommend resources you found helpful to help guide them away from the "oogie-boogie" sects, and even better tell them which ones are full of it. Also showing them by example the way you feel it should be done. The most important thing I would say, would be to show them that the Paths aren't so much about the excitement and the action, but feeling peaceful and "right" in their decision.

3) Being 'numb' to certain energies the first few tries you try to find them.
Except for my energy record reading, I can't tell what an item's been charged with. (Although if it's potent, boy can I feel it!) I think this is a problem with myself, that I don't 'believe' I should or can feel these energies. I tried to have a chat with a friend's cherry tree and I could feel a paper-thin barrier of negative thoughts on my part that was between us. Is it normal to be a bit over-reserved or self-protective? Is it my imagination?

Imagination, probably not. From what you've said you been shocked before by strong energies. You may be reflexively keeping a screen up anytime you get near any energies, like dark sunglasses. This may be also be affecting your other psychic senses. You won't sense anything unless it is so strong to overcome the screen, then it shocks you again. Since it is a reflex, you can consciously train yourself to take it down, but it might not be easy.

4) Guilt for not having the right environment or circumstances to actively practice, or being too constantly overworked/tired/emotionally sick to do a ritual.

Oh Gods, this I understand all to well. Both the avoiding practicing because you don't want people who are going to criticize you or hassle you to see you and the just being too tired or distracted to go through a full ritual. To be honest one of the things that led me to this path was that I found highly organized ceremonies and rituals to be hollow. While there are things you should do and things you should have (Note: Should, not Must), I am sure the dieties would be just as happy for you to simply form the circle with your mind and your energies and sit inside it and think of them, and to think toward them, and be comfortable with them. I requires no more apparent externally than just sitting quietly which can be done anywhere. I am definately sure they will understand what restrictions are placed on you until such time as you are more free to express yourself to them.

These problems at home and the negitive emotions and "muddy" chakras, they may also be affecting you ability to sense and interact with other energies. Either because they cloud your own senses like algae across the top of your pond, or by making you natural shields so tough they are hard to overcome and feel other sources.

5) Fearing for my safety or feeling stupid when I recite prayers or perform rituals.
I do pray, at least once a morning, silently. The minute I start saying the short prayer I wrote to the Goddess, I feel fearful, apprehensive, and stupid for feeling that way. As mentioned above, I'm scared to say any possibly Wiccan text aloud, should someone in the house hear me and start the war. Is this good, or bad, or am I just imagining it?

That you do take the time to pray is good. Feeling the way you do in the environment you are in would in my opinion be natural. Really, if things are that bad, all you can do is bide your time until you are in a better position to do more.

6) Feeling unworthy to call myself by the title of Wiccan, fear of inexperience or a need of attention showing through, and feeling unworthy to practice in general because of habits, or other's opinions.

The only person who has the right to change your religion is you. You'll never know the proper names and vocabulary unless you ask. If you aren't parading this around in front of your disapproving parents, then you aren't doing this in a bid for attention. That you are learning from your experience is the key to your growth, both along your Path and as a person.

For Christians of any sect, coming to Wicca is hard because it is a faith of responsibility. They lose their safety net - Jesus will forgive all your sins if you repent and believe. But in Wicca it is about thinking about and accepting the consequences for your actions. This doesn't mean that they will "cold-shoulder" you per se if you do something wrong, because they do understand that we aren't perfect and were never meant to be, but they will put obstacles in your path to help you learn to be better. Like good parents, they will also see that you get the punishment you deserve as a teaching tool, and like good parents, they will still love you.

[Crazy Healer Lady]

1) OK, who you have in your inner circle ultimately determines who you become. It's true about money, it's true about spirituality, it's true about relationships... Surround yourself with spiritually loving and moral people, and you will support and nuture that in yourself. Do NOT surround yourself with Witches or Pagans who are negative, until you are at a state where it is not negative to you or they are at a state where they are no longer negative. You are in a state of becoming, and you want to set a clear intention of who you want to become, and then change your life to reflect that.

Ask questions. This goes along with #6, but you have every right to ask questions, whether or not you will get answers. Seek people out. State your intention to the God and Goddess. Your friend who is not negative but is tight-lipped, outright ask her what it would take for her to feel more comfortable in speaking with you and sharing her path. Let her know that you are a new Witch trying to find your path in life, and would appreciate someone to grow with, that you're not looking for a master to apprentice, but someone to actively learn and grow alongside, if only for a short while.

2) Again, surround yourself with people who reflect that which you want to become. Anything else is inferior and will only drag you back. If people are serious, absolutely. Otherwise, goodbye.

4/5/6) The fear and the guilt and all the hard things you feel now are very common to experience in this day and age and as well coming out of Christianity into a less fear-driven and guilt-mongering spirituality. You will find it. There are a lot of wounds to heal, and it will take time. It took me a LONG time, years, to get over that, to understand that even a bowel movement is sacred, to learn that you can laugh during a serious ritual, that the deities have no problem laughing at themselves or showing you - often through hard lessons - to laugh at yourself, too. Don't take everything so seriously that you lose the beauty of this path. Think of the most inappropriate thing you could do, something that makes you cringe. Farting during prayer, for instance. Just, do it. Laugh, and know that the Goddess laughs, too, and the God is probably rolling on his sides.


As you heal the guilt, the fear is no longer an issue. It took me even longer to heal the fear. When you have nothing to feel guilty over, what people say no longer effects you. It's like sex before marriage. Five years ago, if someone spoke about the evils of sex, I would get angry, fearful, guilty. Now, they talk about it, and I can appreciate that they are speaking through wounds, but it doesn't affect me. I don't get upset. And when they call me on it, I nod and smile, and honour them and their path, but mine is right for me, and making love with my partner has been the most incredible healing journey of my life.

It will heal. As you also grow up and become more of an adult with less dependence on your parents, you will have a lot more freedom to be you. Now is the time, though, to heal those wounds, so that you are not so angry at the stifling way you grew up that you close off all contact with your family. I've seen it happen many times. Approach the situation with an open heart and an open mind, and ask the God and Goddess for healing. Ask for them to work on you at night.

As for punishment, I do not believe the deities punish, at all. Any punishment is our own upon ourselves. All of it is self-inflicted, and then there are also hard lessons, or lessons that are painful. I know this directly contrasts with what others on the board believe, and I do not want to in any way belittle that, but I have traipsed the otherworlds and gone to the depths of my soul and to the heart of God/Creator/Source/Unity, further and deeper than many dare (and it‘s not a high and mighty thing. It‘s a decision, that‘s all there is to it. I‘m not better, not worse, and I certainly am not done!), faced the worst and the best, not that there isn't much more to face, but in this I feel I have discovered the true nature of the universe, and it is loving. No matter if you believe in one deity or many or none at all, the nature of the universe is loving and non-judging. When bad things happen because you have done something bad, it's not punishment. It's simple cause and effect and the law of attraction. You steal, you get stolen from, not as punishment, but because you have embodied the energy of "Not Enough" and the act of stealing, and it will happen to you. This is not to say that the various gods and goddesses do not have personalities, or that they don’t cause a bit of havoc. Kali, don’t make her angry! This again is cause and effect. You embody the act of doing something to anger a god, and you will attract that energy. Depending on your world view, gods and goddesses may be in charge of that karmic law. Panthiests on this board would be able to explain this better than I, but I challenge them to speak not out of wounds when speaking about punishment from the gods, and generally to be very aware of what they are feeling when they speak, and their Core.

As for number 3, don't worry so much about things being imagination. It will seem like it at first, a lot of things will, but as you develop your sensitivity you will be very amazed at yourself. Learn your own skills and specialities. Don't be afraid that you are wrong in what you do or are not developed. It seems to me that you are doing very well. It is wonderful that you have enough self-awareness to detect that paper-thin level of negativity. My best advice for that is to acknowledge, and let it go. Acknowledge, and let it go. You could be hugging your dad and have the worst vision of killing him and eating his liver, or worse things, at any point. Acknowledge, and let it go. When you get upset and try to shut it out, you freeze the energy. Do this enough times, and you have to get a healer to take it out of your energy field. When you acknowledge it, you allow that energy to move. You honour that part of yourself. It is a reflection of the Shadow Side and the Unconscious, much like dreams are. Acknowledging allows that part of you to rise to the surface and heal, and letting it go allows you to go on with your life. Having a vision or desire to chop that tree down that you are communing with does not make you a bad person. It makes you human. Allow that tree to know that you are learning and clearing out old wounds and shadows - most are very understanding and have a lot more knowledge on the subject than we think. It may even help you. So let that negativity rise, but set the intention that you are healing it so you don’t get stuck in it.

Hope that helps. I think you are a fantastic person and it has been an honour to glimpse what I have of your progression. You will find that as you continue along your path, you will find a lot more peace. It may be chaotic and frustrating now, but it will be so good. Keep going, keep learning, keep going to the root of yourself. There is always more to learn, to heal, to do. Blessings to you on your journey J

[Lotus]

Forgive me since I have a lot to say and nothing to say at the same time.

From what I understand due to my experiences is that we are often tested. Right now (even to the Lord and Lady) you are raw steel and they are trying to temper you into something more. What you are going through rings through as a testing period, as well. You are encountering these issues and people to make sure you are on the right path and if you are truely serious. Whomever said that these are "sign posts" are correct and I appreciate their description.
The guilt is going to be there for some time. A good majority of people around you (including your overall environment) are telling you that you are doing something wrong. When we are forced to hide and sneak then it mentally effects our processes to have us feel we are doing something wrong. For example if you take something simple like a piece of chocolate and have someone deprive you of it......eating it in private will seem wrong. Even though, ultimately, there is nothing wrong with eating a piece of chocolate.
Even today I have to overcome the old Catholic guilt.
Many people are solitary often not by choice. There is a loneliness there that starts to make you feel like it is you versus the world. Sometimes it is just nice to socialize with like minded people and be in the same room where you do not have to feel deprived. I enjoy not having to sensor myself every once in awhile. The witches meetups are normally all about giving this socializing avenue to solitaries or people of different paths. I think about this as pagan networking. Now I (try as often as I can) attend many of the Three Crains Grove rituals and get invited to other events on a more serious level. I now have options to go to serious pagan discussions and potentally join an eclecic coven now all because of this "socializing."
I now have knowledge of a group in Newark,Ohio that caters to solitaries but offers the "group" experience when they want it.
I would recomend if you go on to the meet-up website and find a group in your area. You might find the socializing to develop in so much more. I would not outwardly join since they do give updates via email (or you can opt out of the updates, maybe?). Many of the stresses you describe will start to ease away.
Another idea would be finding group rituals in the area. Sometimes groups hold things outdoors in a local park for an afternoon. Just say to the snitches that you are going to work out a the local park since it is such a beautiful day and they have nothing on you.

Bb
Lotus

[Mahala]

Thanks for the great answers! I got a lot of sleep last night (I haven't slept more than 5 hours a night since Monday). Slowly just sitting in my bubble of peace and quiet for today, and this gives me a bit to think about. I know I can work through all of it if I try hard enough and follow my gut, because on every path there are always potholes that pop up with mud in the bottom... and you end up stepping in them to get through them. I think of my energies as a pond because it helps me to visualize floating on top of my 'pond' when I meditate. I'll add more to this later on, I've got some homework that needs doing before it gets real late.


Around my three friends, we have no real titles; We all associate as just friends because the people around us have no idea what we are. That's why my one friend is tight lipped. I don't talk to anyone either about my religious preference, if I can help it. (An innocent friend brought it up in public and I took him aside to explain I don't really need people knowing until I'm absolutely secure in it.)

I think you're right about the reactive shielding, Dark Waters. Sometimes without meaning to I probably slam my psychic door shut and that's why I'm having so much trouble. Perhaps when I meditate (between homework and whatever else) I should try wedging my door open little by little, to work past that reflex. If I do that regularly, it should help me learn to feel and control my shield by action instead of reaction.

As for my friend, I introduced her to books. She's not a real Buffy or Charmed watcher, but she's a vampire fanatic. (Can you guess what started that? Twilight.) I forgot to mention that she's one of the other three friends' girlfriend of sorts, unofficially. She may be trying to please him or pull him closer by creating more in common. We're sort of adopted sisters, and I've been driving her to complete school for the last two years. (She struggles more than I do.) I think my lesson in her is that the Goddess and God are trying to teach me to be a good example to others who need it.

[Crazy Healer Lady]

She's not a real Buffy or Charmed watcher, but she's a vampire fanatic. (Can you guess what started that? Twilight.)

This is VERY off topic, but I got to be in the sequel!!! Since then, I watched the first movie. It must be the Libra in me, cuz I love it. I got into and over the vampire stuff with Ann Rice, but I don't think I'll ever get over romantics. And the awesome awesomenessocity of the kissing scene in that movie.

And hey, the first season of Charmed was pretty good

Back on topic, can you explain the psychic shielding a little more?? WHY are you seeing it as a bad thing? Perpetual shields like walls (note: Pink Floyd's "The Wall") are not good because they stop you from experiencing life and your own emotions, but are you sure your shields are coming up for the wrong reasons?

[Kitsune]

Is that the one you mentioned where you're driving your car, Crazy? Darn it! This means I'll have to see Full Moon now (that is the title of the second book, if I remember correctly).

Well, I'm sure everybody knows my opinions on Twilight ( ), so I'll just stay quiet ( )... I'm not surprised they were filming over in Vancouver though... I've had sunny days consecutively during my visits there, only when we took a four day trip in Grimwell's fathers sailing boat.

In a further moment of off-topic fun before we return to the topic, I just realized that I have less than two months before we move into the new place... Sooo excited!

[Mahala]

It's a bit late for me to read through the whole posts to refresh myself, but here's what I've managed to answer for myself. I've made a bit of headway with that psychic blocking. I've been practicing going into deeper meditation, and being able to stop and go into meditation while under stress. Since I've been doing this more, I've been more open, to the point where I can actively sense the spirits around me... and it led to something wonderful.

Today, while my parents and I were out in the yard working on the gardens and planting our veggies, I let myself open up and feel around me. I started humming, about the same note as the edger while it was running. I started doing scales and before I knew it, I'd caught the attention of something... Turns out, the neighborhood guardian paused to visit me! It was really, really amazing for me. I'm guessing she must have been happy to know someone around our city could feel her presence.

[Kitsune]

Make a friend if you can with him. Spirits, especially the Guardians remember when we used to visit with them. Making a friend now, and saying hello now and again, will please him and in return they will do things for you. In my experience, they will guard your home when they can, making it so that the undesirable elements of society don't bother you.

[Mahala]

I may do that, if I learn how to call him or her again. I was thinking of doing a house cleansing to clear away some of the negativity here, but I'd have to pick a day when I know I feel up to it. I've decided to hold off doing any definite rituals until I clean it, at least try to even, because all the negative influence isn't helping me learn. (Everyone living here will be better off without it, too.)

I have another question. Is it okay to ask a deity for help, if helping you involves putting certain things into place that involve many other people, specifically in school?

Say that I am failing a certain class, I've talked to the teacher and done all I can. To make it up, I have to go in for X number of mornings to do make-up work. But during the morning, I usually don't have enough time to come in and work unless I skip breakfast. (I wouldn't be able to get up earlier or eat at home.) I ask Athena to help me get my grade back on track. Athena gives my spell the power needed - My teacher decides to let me come in after school for make-up work instead so they can work on grading assignments during the morning.

Personally, I can see where that could be very wrong (asking a goddess to change things to give myself a bit of help, but possibly make things harder for others in doing so) and where it could be seen as innocent (asking a goddess to help me achieve my goals by opening up my chances more). Right now I'm having a lot of trouble with school, mainly because it's the very last week and some classes have taken quite a nasty dive. (It's the best year I've had, and I've only failed a few classes.)

[Crazy Healer Lady]

Ask the god/goddess that your request be done only in the name of the highest good. If you let them know your intentions, they will not inconvenience others in order to make your life easier. Things have a great way of flowing easier when all parties benefit.

[Mahala]

Sometimes it's nice to know that your Gods and Goddess won't jump down your throat if you do things wrong the first few times. (And to know they won't make your life more hellish than it already is for the sake of 'teaching you a lesson'!)

Now, since that's positive magick, what about negative magick? I would only ever use it in self defense and as preventative measures, but sometimes I think it gets wildly out of hand, especially when emotions and personal politics get involved. Say I have a nosy, somewhat snobby person who's not my friend but a friend of a friend's who really dislikes me and goes out of their way to spite me and make snide comments. I assume I have the right to cast a spell to either deflect her energies into the astral to turn them into positive forces, or reflect them at her to give her back her own harshness.

Using spells like this, in a defensive manner, is ok as far as I understand, but using them in an offensive manner isn't. (Hexing, cursing, and all that.) But when is using offensive negative magick ok? I haven't found a situation calling for its use, but I wanted to know if anyone else has.

[Crazy Healer Lady]

This has been the object of much debate here.

Personally, I feel you have every right to protect yourself. Shields, etc. To be honest, I will either picture myself in a bubble, or call in the high beings for protection. I had to last night. I am in an area that is full of spirits, and we were up late talking conspiracies and apocolypses with a Fundie family. It was great fun, but you know how it is. The more you speak of them, the more they are drawn to you. Add in heightened perception, a more porous field, and it being 1am by the time we got home, and I had to basically shield my fiancee and myself until we got in the house. Which is why the new home is basically "holy ground." No negative spirits wandering around, and our entire property is safe.

I wouldn't go into a battle with these spirits. I wouldn't try to send them negative energy, or wish what they are trying to do to me upon them. I shield, and if I have trouble or they are not leaving, I call upon the highest of the high to take care of them, to bring them healing. Why would I treat people any less?

There is always a healing response. If she is sending stuff at you, turn your field into a mirror, but when it hits, it is transmuted to healing energy. Set the intention that she may receive whatever healing is necessary for her at this time. Put your Allies to work and ask them to protect you. As you learn and grow it becomes harder for anything to get in your field, unless you're just opening doors and learning nothing about protection. Then it can be much worse.

You are responsible for whatever energy you send out, even if it is reflected. It's a matter of what you want to be responsible for: positive, or negative?

[Mahala]

It all depends on personal opinion, then? As mush as I've read, I've already gotten two or three conflicting views, but I personally believe that using shields is an ok way of stopping negativity from getting to me. What I didn't think about is 'programming' the shield to reflect healing energies, because perhaps the person sending the energy in the first place is jealous, in pain, or has some other social issue. (By the way, that example was real; A friend of a friend's gives me dirty looks when I'm around and took a gentle prod at her religion as a serious personal insult. The prod was made by a friend of the same religion, mind you, and I only witnessed it.)

[b]Explaining Wicca/Paganism to inquisitive friends, family, or when asked about it?[/i] I've had no real problem keeping myself out of hot water, since I haven't told many and don't make very direct reference to my religion, but there was a friend wondering why I was sneaking off to the library every few mornings to do 'research'. One time he asked to come with, and before I knew it, I found myself explaining it to him. (He's not a judgmental person, so there was no threat in telling him.)
But to explain it to my other friends who hold very strict religious views? One day this is going to pop up, and I hope that I'm not caught off guard. I don't know why, but I'm even suspicious of telling other Pagans I know because they'll get involved and tell me 'you're doing it wrong'. (I did talk to my tight-lipped friend; She didn't think I was serious so I figured that whatever knowledge she held was nothing I needed that badly to begin with.) We don't have a lot of Christian fundies, but we do have a lot of LDS fundies, which are a more mellow, easy-going sub-type, I guess. Every now and then we see missionaries. They'll probably end up visiting seeing my books or asking me to go to church and I'll have to spill the beans because I can't make up very good excuses.

[Kystar]

The best advice I can give you in that situation is to be vague until you're comfortable being specific.

When I was first on my path, I would tell those who pressured me to go to church that I do not believe in organized religion...that the church is no longer a cornerstone of a community in the broader sense, and that I will talk to God in my own way. Then again, the ppl after me were very strict on "Keeping up appearances"...and if you didn't go to church EVERY Sunday, you were a Juvenile Delinquent. Didn't matter if you believed or followed the path...just if you didn't attend SOME regular mainstream religious function, you were going to end up in jail and shame your family.

I once told an old woman that Church was empty...God wasn't there...I never felt his presence during the service. That's why I didn't go.

Good luck finding the answer that will cover your tail-feathers but still be true to yourself.