Dumb problem

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Willow
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Dumb problem

Post by Willow » Mon Oct 05, 2009 2:45 pm

Hi, Ok, so I have the most selfish and stupid problem in the world. I have to get some needles and I just can't do it.

I have two things, first, we are Starting to think about having kids, and in Canada at least that means needles and blood tests up the wazoo. Second, my husband's cousin is getting married down in Saint Lucia and if you want to go anywhere tropical you are supposed to get a whole round of hepatitis shots, and I need my booster shots too. Well and third, it is just good to get a blood test once in a while.

I am not sure if I have written about this before, but I have a panic disorder triggered by exposure to needles, being in a room with them, seeing them on TV, and especially the thought of getting them. And it keeps getting worse, now even static photos of needles send me either into a panic attack or a faint. It is actually causing a strain on my family because I have refused to travel anywhere with them that needs needles (haven't visited my sister in Korea, family in Africa etc). And I am avoiding having kids and medical procedures because I am too afraid (I hate being at parties where women start talking about epidurals). It isn't logical, I know that, and that is the most annoying part, I got my nose pierced and was OK, I took stitches without freezing and was fine, medical needles just seem to be my trigger.

So what I am asking for? Not advice, there is nothing more frustrating than people who tell you to "suck it up" or just not look and "don't think about it." It isn't a fear thing, or maybe I have just been afraid of dealing with the problem, so maybe bravery there. Perhaps I need some strength, I have put off dealing with this problem for so long that it has become something much bigger than it probably is. Don't worry about offering solutions, but whatever energy/blessings you think I might need may be helpful.

Thanks for understanding and not judging guys, I ashamed at how selfish a problem this is (I am too afraid to take advantage of our great medical care in Canada) but it really is starting to cause problems in other areas of my life.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

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white_harmony
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Re: Dumb problem

Post by white_harmony » Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:25 pm

Awe darling. As someone who can completely sympathise (I have issues with the dreaded needle too ... *shudders*) ... I will send what I can to help you get past it and do what needs to be done. :hug:
~ The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death ~

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Max
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Re: Dumb problem

Post by Max » Tue Oct 06, 2009 12:43 am

I get it too, I can't look when I have to have tests or innoculations. Though I'm getting a little better recently, the thought of it makes my knees go wobbly :oops: . Have you thought about doing a small ritual to see if it helps? Will send calming, happy thoughts to you. >:D<
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Crazy Healer Lady
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Re: Dumb problem

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Tue Oct 06, 2009 4:22 am

I used to be similar, but like most dramatic issues in my life, it was solved in a moment of realization.

I'm going to talk a lot here, so I apologize in advance.

First off, realize that fears, phobias, etc are the cause of wounding. By wounding, I mean an event, a thought, a "tapping in," whatever, to something that causes great pain and trauma. When you get a wounding, a piece of your energy that is experiencing something traumatic "freezes." It solidifies, thickens, as a means of protection. When it freezes, the energy can't flow. It can't run through your body and energy field, be digested, etc. In this way, the soul "captures" this experience, and segregates it from the rest. This is what the old Shamans call soul shards, where pieces of the soul would "break off" to save the whole. (They would then search the Otherworlds for that lost soul shard, bring it back, and thus bring healing, but the shard would not stay if major healing did not take place.) In other words, this is called a blockage. Left unresolved, it can create major problems in the spiritual, the mental, the emotional, the physical.

When we have a blockage, anything that runs energy through it will be painful, intense, emotional. Some people can't give others a hug because it runs energy through their heart and solar plexus chakras, which in turn triggers the pain of a blockage, which in turn, depending on how far it's gone, triggers physical pain in those areas. Fear is another symptom of a blockage, a trauma that the ego is not willing to experience for it's pain.

The reason I am explaining this to you is so that you can get a different perspective on your fear. I'm hoping this will give you a detached look. Instead of, "Oh my god, the needle, the needle will go in me, it hurts, I'm invaded, get off me!" I'm hoping you will see, "My spirit has a blockage, and that blockage has caused me to react in a manner counter to what I know is logical. The nurse isn't doing what they did to me long ago. They aren't recreating my traumas. This is a separate instance that has caused me fear because I have not been willing to run energy through my blockages and relive my traumatic experiences so that they may be healed."

Some things that may help in the interim are taking some Rescue Remedy beforehand.

For healing above and beyond, I would recommend past life healings, meditations, etc. But ONLY when you are ready. It sounds like a serious issue that you may just not be ready to work on yet. Maybe you are. But if you force yourself into it and you aren't ready, you could just cause further wounding.

You are a very advanced person in the regard that you have a good idea of where you are, how you feel, etc. I have no question that you'll be able to slowly and surely chip away at the blockage/wounding.

In the meantime, blessings!! And big hugs!
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

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Willow
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Re: Dumb problem

Post by Willow » Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:38 am

Do you have any resources where I can look into that? I am pretty sure I know exactly where and when the fear developed.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

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Dark Waters
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Re: Dumb problem

Post by Dark Waters » Thu Oct 08, 2009 3:42 am

Let me tell you of one of my own fears. Heights. Not an unreasonable fear. Just about everyone has it to some degree. Even so, it wasn't so much the heights themselves, but rather the thought of falling from them, and of the inevitable sudden stop if I did.

When I was younger, it could be paralytic. Even now, though I have all but overcome the basic fear, it still can cause my heart to race and slow my muscles.

So what did I do? I started climbing walls and walking along their tops. First, those wide as full cinderblocks. Then growing ever narrower 'til they were about half the width of my foot. Also I would move faster, not really running but quickly nonetheless.

Still, as long as there was footing, it only distracted from the fear and not lessened it. So I took to piling cushions in my backyard. Then climb to the roof of my garage and jump into them. Thereafter, I would have fewer and fewer cushions placed there until I was leaping 8-10 feet onto bare ground.

As a side note, not only did I use the exercise to overcome that which bound me, but also as one of my first trainings in how to redirect energy, though I still thought in scientific terms rather than mystical. I would feel the kinetic energy from my falling flow down my body to my feet as I would land and then rebound back up to leap away. Later as I came stronger to our beliefs, I realize it was a VERY rudimentary form of grounding and absorption.


So how might all this rambling relate. Although it might always remain with you. It could be possible to - well, to use an appropriate term - innoculate you to endure it. The three phases, like the Goddess, that I would recommend are Acknowledgement, Awareness and Approach.

Acknowledgement - Not only realize that you have the fear, but what caused it, why it was triggered and why it should persist. It does seem you have a good handle on this part. If you can get a good, solid handle on cause then you can use this a base to realize that circumstances have changed and that you can go beyond them.

Awareness - Become aware of them around you. There are plenty of news stories recently about the H1N1 vaccine and the HPV innoculations. Read them, maybe watch them on the news to see if they still affect you so. Does the fear extend to other types of needles such as sewing needles? If not, get some. Handle them to note the similarities to that which you fear and that they do not pose a threat.

Approach - As with most of what we do, energy flow and direction are important. CHL has pretty much covered it about blockages and flows. Allow the intent of the innoculations to come to you. They are there to shield you as wards can be. Let the knowledge of their purpose provide a calming aura to you. I know it may sound trite but the mind and the energy are the best tools you have to turn this around. It will probably never be gone from you entirely, but it can become bearable.
I'm living in the Shadows and the Night,
Wrapped in warm darkness, safe and sure.
My Path shines by the Moon's fragile light,
It frees my Mind and keeps my Heart pure.

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Re: Dumb problem

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Thu Oct 08, 2009 7:12 am

Willow wrote: by Willow on Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:38 am
Do you have any resources where I can look into that? I am pretty sure I know exactly where and when the fear developed.
You can try reading some books, or you can go to a healer. The books that helped me are those by Alberto Villoldo and by Kristen Madden. If you would like to work with a healer on it, you can find a good one in your area by going here: http://barbarabrennan.com/welcome/find_a_graduate.html .
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

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Willow
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Re: Dumb problem

Post by Willow » Fri Oct 09, 2009 10:19 am

Thanks CHL, I will look into those books.

DW, thanks for the advice, I am looking to all my options here, it isn't something I can do without professional help though because of the panic attacks that come with it. I have told myself I don't have to make needles fun, just bearable.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

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