Loke wrote:...to walk another path than their upbringing expected from them. Im just curious when it happened...
Let's see. I've described (I think) my past. Not sure if it was here, or not. Yes, I was raised Lutheran/Charismatic/Assemblies of God/Church of God/Foursquare/Pentecostal Holiness/Baptist, etc.
Used to say I was "mutt," like mixed dog, when asked "What denomination are you?"
It definitely developed over a slow period of time, but started in my pre-teen years.
Sitting in a Caticism class where a girl across the table kicked my legs until my knees bled, finding myself always an "outsider" and ostracized by the "in" crowd in the "youth" group of churches, seeing different denominations compete, condemn each other, brag, make false claims, lie, and be all too self-serving.
It all had a bearing from my pre-teens into my 20's.
By the time I was in my 30's, I just was blank, empty, for the most part.
One day, when I was in my late 30s, I started studying Wiccan. I don't know exactly why, but I know that being online, and researching it, made me think about it.
Now, I'm one of those not-quite Wiccan spiritualist people. I really don't quite fit personally comfortably with the god/goddess thing and having to tell a spirit in a tomato that I'm going to pick it from it's vine and eat it, and things that intense.
But I DO believe that god/cosmic consciousness/etc is either dual male/female, or transends beyond that. I do not think of "god" as really male.
I just don't get too much into the duality of it, keeping up with which state the moon is in, etc.
I cannot, in good faith, say I'm Wiccan, because I'd be a sorry example. Not that I'm in any way "anti" Wiccan, at all.
I believe fully in spells, white light, and a whole slew of it.
I came into my own about it, far more so, I'd guess after mother's death.
That's when the stereo started turning itself on, and somehow, I didn't think anything about it at all. I thought it quite natural. Well, once I got accustomed to it, because it did it for quite a while.
The first few times, it did startle me a lot.
From then, on, my feelings about Christianity were that it has truth, but is not fully truth, and that it also has a lot of lies in it.
Just my person thoughts on that.
Yes, it really culminated then, strongly, for me, and that would have been only back in 1998.
There were a lot of callous, if not insane, rationalizations, yes.
About the so-called "Laws" of the OT? We were told it was because of "health" issues do to "unsanitary" conditions in those days. Well, yes, most of them did promote "better health," but how could an ALL-KNOWING & EVERYWHERE-PRESENT & LOVING God NOT have the ability to merely tell "his" people that do do these things would be good for their health, and that he wanted them to do it this way, because he cared about them, instead of INTIMIDATING THEM WITH FEAR?
About 22 years ago, I asked a minister about all of those people in the deepest darkest parts of Africa who lived their entire lives without every "hearing the gospel message," and he said that THEY TOO WOULD BURN IN HELL, but that God was being COMPASSIONATE on them by NOT letting them hear the "gospel message" because he KNEW that they would REJECT him so by NOT letting them HEAR it their PUNISMENT in hell would be LESS SEVERE.
And WHAT of the people he KNEW would REJECT him, and did, whom he LET hear it?
They cannot see the lack of their reason.