Women - Back to the hearth you birthgiving machines?!

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Rain ForestMoon
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Post by Rain ForestMoon » Fri Jan 26, 2007 3:35 pm

Jescissa wrote:...... a lot of the women I know prefer to come home and do all the housework because husband 'doesn't get it right'.......
One of the main reasons why shared housework often does not work is that the two people making up a couple often have different standards of what "clean" means, and of what "tidy" means.....
In this discussion it is important to remember, I think, that "equality" is not the same thing as "same-ness". Just because we are equal, does not mean that we both have to do the ironing, and that we both have to do the mowing.
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Post by Jescissa » Fri Jan 26, 2007 3:42 pm

Rain ForestMoon wrote:Just because we are equal, does not mean that we both have to do the ironing, and that we both have to do the mowing.
Good point :-D Although all the chores shouldn't always fall to one person to do - it's just the same with a family of Sims...if one family member has to run around after the rest and clean, tidy and cook for everyone else as well as go out and earn a crust as a mad scientist all day...that Sim quickly resents the others and gets irritable and depressed...I think I'd get irritable and depressed too if I had to cope with that day-in, day-out.
"If you trust in yourself and believe in your dreams and follow your star...you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy. Goodbye." - Miss Tick, Terry Pratchett's Wee Free Men

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Willow
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Post by Willow » Fri Jan 26, 2007 9:01 pm

I think some of the problem lies in shaking this feeling I get sometimes. That if Id on't do everything for my spouse...kids..family....etcetera then I am somehow inadequate.

One of my goals in life is to learnt o let other people do things for me. breaking my foot helped a little but its a bit over a year later and I find myself again wanting to do eveyrthing for everyone. I watched an episode of Oprah once (hey I was sick and there was nothing on) where a psycholigist (not dr phil) said tyhat the majority of women suffer from this problem. Wherethey think feelings of inadequacy can be taken care of by taking care of other people.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

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fatale
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Post by fatale » Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:46 am

Willow wrote:I think some of the problem lies in shaking this feeling I get sometimes. That if Id on't do everything for my spouse...kids..family....etcetera then I am somehow inadequate.
I have the same problem - I MUST be "little Ms. Perfect" and I expect a lot out of others too. (I'd be a horrible boss) In a way, that's good, because I know I always give my best and try to be even better - at home, at work, with my friends - just I'm up for disappointment sometimes, because not everybody has the same high standarts.

Maybe women should let men do more at home - what a thought!

Now, what about mutual respect. The bible tells women to be submissive, but it also tells men to be fair and treat their wife well.
Why is it so hard to get rid of double standarts?

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Post by Rain ForestMoon » Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:38 pm

fatale wrote: I have the same problem - I MUST be "little Ms. Perfect" and I expect a lot out of others too. (I'd be a horrible boss) In a way, that's good, because I know I always give my best and try to be even better - at home, at work, with my friends - just I'm up for disappointment sometimes, because not everybody has the same high standarts.

Maybe women should let men do more at home - what a thought!

That, of course, is THE problem with being a perfectionist generally.

A perfectionist has to (tries to) do everything himself/herself, because no-one else could possibly do it as good......
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"AQUILA NON CAPIT MUSCAS'

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Ragnar
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Post by Ragnar » Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:02 am

Willow wrote: One of my goals in life is to learnt o let other people do things for me. breaking my foot helped a little but its a bit over a year later and I find myself again wanting to do eveyrthing for everyone.
I would not reccomend it as a "cure". They have Electric shock therepy for that. :-D

Even when I have a gout attack, and it takes 30 minutes to get from one room to the other, I still go to get my own books, my own food, etc.

Lisa has given up even offering. :lol:

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Post by Rain ForestMoon » Fri Feb 02, 2007 3:29 am

Ragnar wrote: Even when I have a gout attack, and it takes 30 minutes to get from one room to the other, I still go to get my own books, my own food, etc.
Perhaps, if you did not get your own food you would not have any gout attacks...... :-) (Two birds killed with one stone, as they say ;) )
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"Excess of anything is bad, but especially the excess of Moderation"

"AQUILA NON CAPIT MUSCAS'

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Post by Ragnar » Fri Feb 02, 2007 3:51 am

Yes, well. Starving to death can cure a lopt of problems.

It's cheaper as well. :lol:

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Post by Willow » Fri Feb 02, 2007 6:24 am

LOL, we call that the prairie cure.

When My darling is sick, its likethe world is ending. However, if I am sick I will kep going. I have acted in plays with pnemonia, written exams with hangovers and written papers witht he flu.

I guess I just do the protestant thing and work through sicknesss :P
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

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Post by morgana » Fri Feb 02, 2007 6:51 am

Yeah, that and guys are usually just big babies! The second they have a sniffle: "UUUUGGGGHHH! I'm SOOOOO sick!! Come take care of me!" :roll:
"Love like you've never been hurt."

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Post by SageWolf » Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:52 am

OH don't I know it, My husband came home with a cold last week and God's he drove me nuts,it was always Hunny can you get me this or that, and the other night he wounded himself at work, ending up getting 10 stitches, and it was like but Honey my stitches Hurt, and I'm a very feeling woman, don't get me wrong, but the Dumb Butt, wore loose clotheing to work and it got caught in the saw and it was HIS fault he got cut, so I looked at him and said so put some Cayenne Pepper on it and it will numb it, (It really works, I promise) I tried to feel sorry for him I really did, But after I Made sure he was ok, I couldn't find it in me, the silly man, We have a cousin who works with him and he found out he was injured, and he walked in in front of all the managers and first found out he was alright then looked at him and said You a Dumb Arse. I called to make sure he was ok, when I was at work and our cousin answered the phone and was giving him hell, told me that they had to cut off his third leg so I had to use his for awhile. :lol: :lol: :lol: so,, anyway, Hubby gave me his cold and I feel like dirty butt cheeks and I have to do everything.

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fatale
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Post by fatale » Fri Feb 02, 2007 11:07 am

HAhahahah! do not let a man get sick! that's for sure!

Has anyone here seen this supid movie Failure to launch! I have a friend and that's him in this movie! He lived with his parents until he was way in his 20s. THe breakfast scene, where the mom makes the eggs and bacon the the dad eats lumpy oatmeal - that's exactly what happened! Spoiled baby boy! :lol:
He now only lives 4 houses away from home. Funny, he told his wife he'd like to eat some chili soon and his mom heard him - next day he had chili -from his Mom! :lol:

Anyway - I don't seem to get sick ever! I don't remember being sick ever since I had my first baby.

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Post by SageWolf » Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:14 pm

We live about 4 blocks from Hubb'ys momma, but, we are pretty much on our own, Thank the Gods, I do his cooking and cleaning and well he helps most times, but I am the better cook.I hate doing dishes, so most times the kids do em, (you know chores and all that good crap)So we have it worked out pretty well,I don't get sick sick I just like to feel Blah most times, I have a slight cough and my nose is alittle sniffly but thats it, I'm just mostly tired, I'm pretty good about not getting sick but sometimes I do, I was a very sickly child , I had pnemonia all the time, and the last time I had it that was it, the last one, And since then I've been pretty healthy, But the last time I had pnemonia I also had an ear infection Bronchitis and strep throat at the same time, Talk about miserable.

Hubby and I split most chores between us, I had a man once who made me do it all and plus work full time so....I refuse to get with someone who won't help me at least alittle bit.

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Willow
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Post by Willow » Fri Feb 02, 2007 5:40 pm

My SO and I have different tolerances for different dirt...I need a clean bathroom, he needs a clean kitchen. I am a better cook (he once made a lime stir fry...bleh) He is better at hosuehold finacial stuff.

It worries me though that when we have kidss it might get mroe uneven. He takes a really long time to do anything, so getting kids to and fro might be an issue. Oh well, that is a bridge to cross later.

And we shouldn't be so hard on the boys...I am sure they are tough in their own ways :P
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

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Post by katsu » Sat Feb 03, 2007 1:41 am

Willow wrote: I have acted in plays with pnemonia, written exams with hangovers and written papers witht he flu.
Try using a pencil, it helps :lol:
(couldn't resist, sorry)
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