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violent totems

Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 12:43 pm
by Lotus
For my birthday, I received Celtic Totem Animals by John Matthews. This is an illustrated book with a cd of shamanic drumming designed to help you find your Totem Animal. Now I have been very curious about this since I am quite certain that I am one of the rare people who actually do not have guides of any sort. I got this to try and prove myself wrong since there are many reasons why a guide may not want to be demonstrative.
I got to the meditation cd portion and tried to go on this journey. The booklet instructed that if any insect came to tell them you were not ready. It indicated that the insect totems worked with very serious emotional issues and were the least like humans. Only an expert should work with them. The booklet also instructed that no violence or aggression should be experienced. The journey was explaned to be save and you were supposed to just ask an animal if it approached if it was your totem.
The Lord of the Beast facilitated your journey by introducing you to the animals.

Well, my experience was rather odd. Not only did the bee show up first but it seemed like it was going to sting me. I repeatedly told it that I was not ready to work with it right now and it went away.
The swan showed up and went to physically attack me and ended up destroying a down feather pillow. I oddly had this pillow to protect me. Then the bear and the wolf showed up together and growled in a most threatening manner and left. The swan came back and I broke myself out of the meditation.

Why? This experience was not supposed to be violent or aggressive in any way and it was.


Re: violent totems

Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 4:01 pm
by Crazy Healer Lady
Bee is a magnificent totem, and has many stories to tell. I think you should look into the fact that the stinger of bee is often seen as a phallic symbol, and bee in general talks about work life, community, fertility, and getting the "honey of life" out of every situation. I would work with this before you look at any of the other animals that appeared in your meditation.

Also keep in mind that in olden days if a person was attacked by an animal and survived, it was told that the animal was that person's totem animal and spirit guide, and the attack was a test. You are a highly spiritually gifted individual. Play it safe, but realize that the animal world may be a bit impatient with you and see it as time to move beyond your comfort zone as you have shunned them for so long, not intentionally, but just not lived up to your potential.

Study bee for the next week. Draw him/her, look up youtube videos especially from National Geographic, and learn all you can about them. Then go back and do the meditation. Before you do, make sure you are in a calm state of mind. Have a bath beforehand and completely pamper yourself so that you are in a good and soft mood. So often the figures that come up in meditations are projections of our own minds that what is friendly can seem horrible if we are looking through the lense of our own shadows. If you have put yourself in a wonderful mood beforehand, this at least limits the chances of you walking into a battlefield.

Animals come into a person's life like the weather. They may blow right through with lessons for the day, or stay for a long time. Some stay for life. You will know.

Re: violent totems

Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 5:42 pm
by Kitsune
Remember, you might just be "unlucky" like me.

I wasn't able to find out my totem until I learned Reiki. There, my guide finally appeared, an owl! And she promptly told me that if I actually thought she was an owl, I wasn't as smart as she thought I was.

She wouldn't leave off until I admitted that I understood that the physical shape doesn't matter, and while your guide may appear as a Bee one day, it might just as easily be the same totem showing up as a wolf next!

But then don't take my word for it... Master of Totems, I am not!

Re: violent totems

Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:00 am
by Lotus
Thanks, I guess that some research on the bee is on my to-do list.

I still wonder though how I managed to have a pillow with me? :-?


Re: violent totems

Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:36 am
by Kystar
Deep meditations can come close to lucid dreaming. I'd say your mind gave you something to use to protect yourself without causing harm.

Re: violent totems

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:33 pm
by davisherm
Agreeing with Kystar here.

It doesn't surprise me that you had a means of defense with you. I've more than once found myself in a sort of meditative trance/half dream. Not sure exactly what to call it, but some type of altered state, for sure. In this state, I will very often have the means to repel unwanted visitors, generally, I find that I have my old M-16 readily at hand. It's not there until I need it, but it just kind of pops into being right when I reach for it. Think of it as your mind creating an image for you to comprehend whatever psychic or energetic method of attack/defense you're actually making use of.

In my case, I generally find that I try to keep attackers at bay from a distance and have the means to maim or even kill - just the threat is often enough to scare them off.

In your case, maiming and killing wasn't needed. You were in close combat with the Swan, indicating some type of very deep connection, and the weapon your mind conjured was more of a defensive weapon that would blunt incoming attacks, while still being capable of hitting back with enough force to show that you're serious.

As to why it got violent, perhaps your guide was just attempting to get your attention. If you've not been receptive to them for this long, perhaps they've been ramping up their activities, trying to reach you, and when you were suddenly looking right at them, they were still doing all they could to be seen/heard.

Anyway, my two cents.