Page 1 of 1

New Horizons-

Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 7:46 pm
by Hytegia
Could you guys do me a favor and keep me in your thoughts as I styruggle to cut ties with my family, and set sail on my own?
It's a constant struggle each day in my house, and they're all over me for one reason or another. And, apparently I'm a Disappointment, a Failure, a Satanist, and a boatload of other things adding on to the topper- dad comparing me to a Cousin of mine (he was put in the loony bin and killed himself... Guess he was calling me insane? Then I guess he's right. *shrug*).
I'm getting a job, and am planning on moving in with a friend who's mom could put me for room and board for cheap if I help out and keep it down and a load of other things. That, I don't mind really. I can do a little manual labor along with a Job, and go to school.
My problem is cutting these ties which have kept me on the shoreline. I've built my boat, and I'm ready to set sail... Might have some problem in those storms, but I have friends and I actually want to get this started. I want to be free to make my own descicions, and mainly worship how I want to! (FINALLY!!! :occasion5:)
But still-
Even through all the sh*t, and hate, and basic dischord that has ran so rampant that when I put my head to the Wall I can feel the negative energies like ice on my skin, it's still Family. I have a brother who was just mostly apathetic toward everything. I have a sister who was almost always there. I have a mom who was cool sometimes. I have a dad- well, that's about the good things. I kinda don't like him that much.

Well, time to cut lines and set sail... And I beg the GODS, GODDESSES, SPIRITS, AND ALL OF MAGICK I don't sink and have to swim back to shore.
It would kinda ruin my "Exit the Warrior- Today's Tom Sawyer" style I try to have.

Re: New Horizons-

Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 8:34 pm
by Crazy Healer Lady
Moving out is always the most exhilerating and terrifying experience. I remember my first night alone in a new, empty place...

You will get through, hun. Life outside is hard, but so worth it, and can be easy once you learn the dance :) I think this will be very good for you, if you feel that in your heart. Just remember, it isn't over until the last breath. Things always have a way of working out :)

Re: New Horizons-

Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 8:51 pm
by Hytegia
Thanks CHL.

My problem is that I'm not scared of Moving out... I'm scared of a good many things it would mean to cut ties with my Family. For example-

I was told that if I moved out, I wouldn't get a cent from them for College.

I'm saving up, but it's getting damned intimidating!
Room... Check
Board.... check?
Books..... I think- maybe I put my wallet ov-
Tuition............. DAMMIT!!!

Plus I have a Girlfriend...
The Girlfriend that I was planning on doing the PreCognative Memory generation on (Thanks for showing me that I didn't need it, guys!) to see if I should pop a special question to.
A VERY special question.

But if things go as planned, I'm going to be living with a friend with a room of my own, renting for cheap and doing yardwork and other things- ontop of a Job and saving for college. Oh, and let's not forget HIGH SCHOOL. :/ Not going to get very far across that College stage without that good ol' HS Diploma, am I?
Oh, and could you keep it in your hearts about that special question, aswell (if you catch my drift)?

Re: New Horizons-

Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 4:49 am
by Max
Good luck. Moving out is brilliant, I loved the freedom. If you can, try not to cut ties with your family completely yet (easier said than done). I got on so much better with my parents when I moved out completely, and weirdly when I moved across country we became closer than ever. It's nice to have your own space and see that your parents are real people that you can have have real conversations with, that are not based around curfews or cleaning! If you take care of yourself well, are successful in school and work then eventually they will come to respect you as a successful adult. Prove to them you can make it :-)

Re: New Horizons-

Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 6:26 am
by Hytegia
The problem is, I KNOW how they do things. :/
My parents are people-pleasers. No matter how happy they seem shaking neighbors, friends, or relative's hands, when they go back to the house it's going to be the same old sh*t as before, except I'm not going to be there-
I really don't want them to go all-out for me like other people... But it WOULD be nice to feel pampered, the house getting cleaned if I call them and say I'm stopping by. :( But I really don't want that!

Well, it's not my fault that they like to put on a mask for different people. They've always done that, so it won't be better for me at all to worry about that.

I guess you're right, Max. :P

Re: New Horizons-

Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 2:58 pm
by Mahala
Be lucky that you're even in the position to move out, to anywhere besides home! Our family(or rather, my mother...) has a nasty record of keeping kids around until they're more than able to support themselves. (Twenty seven and still at home. But he does pay for the groceries and occasionally some bills.)

It's going to be a very, very hard thing for me, just getting onto my own feet. I found out recently that all the money dad happened upon to spend for my horse... :-( Well, that was my college fund. Can't do much about it now, especially with jobs and money looking very unstable.

I wouldn't say cut ties with your family, just let them 'slip by'.If you're family is constantly watching, they might leave you alone if you let communications die down after you move. I've seen this work with my family; Less talking, less fighting. They're still there if you need them, but when you don't they get the idea they can't just snoop on you anymore.

Re: New Horizons-

Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:37 pm
by Lotus
You do not have to cut ties forever.....could be just for a bit until they realize that you are serious. I had a friend do this for a few years and it managed to repair the bond when they reunited. Let them miss you and see exactly what they lost.
Do not be afraid to seek out your Financial Aid office at your Uni. They want students and will help you pay for it.


Re: New Horizons-

Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:55 am
by Hytegia