Dead Friend

Kinda like a prayer chain ...
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Lotus
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Dead Friend

Post by Lotus » Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:47 pm

On Friday night my SO and I went to hang out with him....we left 10:30 pm. Ben Ketcham was his name.
By Saturday morning we got the phone call that he was dead.

I've been playing the details of the night over and over in my mind. He took meds down with a swallow of Jameson wiskey. We questioned him and he told us, "You guys this is not as exciting as you think this is."
The hug he gave me when we departed was long and lingering as if he knew that we'd never see him again.

I feel responsible since I could have done something. Hopefully he just made a stupid mistake and miscalculated or something.

This was a very dear friend to me and I've been weeping uncontrollably for the past few days.

He leaves behind a young son and lots of friends who cared for him a great deal. Please keep his family in mind.

BB
Lotus
(forgive spelling and grammer errors...was written rather quickly)
I have not been the same since that house fell on my sister.

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morgana
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Post by morgana » Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:56 pm

My condolences Lotus, may he be at peace now. [-o<
"Love like you've never been hurt."

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Willow
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Post by Willow » Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:37 pm

Condolances and blessings, don't blame yourself. Let yourself feel the pain because it is real, it hurts and it sucks. My thoughts are with you and with him Lotus.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

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katsu
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Post by katsu » Sun Mar 11, 2007 10:48 pm

:GHug:
/|\

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Crazy Healer Lady
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Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Mon Mar 12, 2007 12:00 am

Lotus, please please don't think of taking any blame. You never, NEVER know.

You are in my thoughts, and his family... I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss. If there is anything I can do, let me know.
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

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Windwalker
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Post by Windwalker » Mon Mar 12, 2007 12:06 am

Yeah, hun, it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself. You're allowed to grieve, though.
He's at peace.
si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes

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Jescissa
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Post by Jescissa » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:59 am

:hug:
"If you trust in yourself and believe in your dreams and follow your star...you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy. Goodbye." - Miss Tick, Terry Pratchett's Wee Free Men

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forgotten oceans
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Post by forgotten oceans » Mon Mar 12, 2007 12:44 pm

Blessings to you and his family. [-o< [-o<

:hug:
Maybe now you're starting to understand that while I may have been born predispositioned to be pretty batty, my parents saw to it that it was a certainty and completely unavoidable. -Me

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SageWolf
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Post by SageWolf » Mon Mar 12, 2007 2:25 pm

:GHug: :hug: :hug: Blessings for you Lotus and for his family

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unknown as far as I know

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auramoonsongs
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Post by auramoonsongs » Tue Mar 13, 2007 2:11 am

Don't blame yourself and my blessing are with you during this time. [-o<

blessed be


aura moonsongs
blessed be

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Stormy
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Post by Stormy » Wed Mar 14, 2007 12:14 am

I am so sorry, but as others have said, do not blame yourself. Love, hugs and blessings to you to help you through this tough time.
Stormy ~~}~}-:>
Aut viam inveniam aut faciam

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Lotus
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Post by Lotus » Sun Mar 18, 2007 7:27 pm

I feel much better today although everything still does not feel real.
Thanks everyone, I'm starting to realize that things were not my fault.
My friend Nick told me that it seems like this was to happen because too many odd things happened out of the ordinary.
The funeral was disquieting because the priest looked around the room at all of Ben’s friends and saw an opportunity to proselytize instead of talking about he man who died. The man we came to honor. Now, I was raised Catholic and I remember quite well how long the masses are……..this mass was extreme. Longer than even an Easter or Christmas mass which, is ridiculous. We all did not need to hear the 4 hour long mass on the Catholic religion……even the family was offended.
Using a funeral to proselytize is low and disgusting…………..even though it was obvious that his friends were pagan (or some alternative therein).
Due to this I did not find the closure that I needed….the closure that comes from a funeral.

BB
Lotus
I have not been the same since that house fell on my sister.

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Crazy Healer Lady
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Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Sun Mar 18, 2007 8:43 pm

Oh I am so sorry.... I hate Catholicism sometimes. My grandma's funeral was nothing but reminding us how we all have sinned and MAY LORD GOD FORGIVE THIS TERRIBLE SINNER AS SHE COMES TO YOU DOOR. And then he proceeds to bang the incense holder on the coffin ...

Lotus, are you comfortable with holding a ceremony for your friend's circle of friends? Perhaps just a small gathering to share your memories, have some quiet moments, offer something in his honour that will be placed on his grave, or beneath a tree planted in his name? It could be very formal, or very informal, whatever is most comfortable.

Once again, I am so sorry for your loss...
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

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Willow
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Post by Willow » Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:13 am

Same here, I am sorry it was not what you needed. Shame on that priest.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

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