I am totally late but I would like to offer prayers for both you and him. [-o<
I would also like to tell you about my step father.
When he was 18 he was the leader of a boyscouts group. On a hike he was bitten by a rattle snake and rushed to the hospital. They froze his arm to keep the venom from spreading (granted this was 40 plus years ago). Well, they kinda messed up with the process and they had to amputate his arm. Just a few inches beyond his elbow.
My step father is an amazing person. He and my mother are no longer together, but he is married to a beautiful sweddish woman and lives in Europe.
He has driven stickshift ford trucks, played drums, attepted running for president of the united states, helped disabled people have rights as citizens against discrimination, been a butcher, a teahcer and restored antique painting and artifacts. He is not embarrassed.
The experience made him want to do more with his life, to show those "lookie-loo's" that they can do more than look at his disability, they can look at what he's accomplished with it!
It seems to me that his concern isn't really "are you embarrased?" but more, "How he is embarrased." He needs to work on accepting his current state, once he is healed of course. He is still a whole person. Lovable, cared for, nothing has changed. He is still him, the man you love.
I wish you both the best of luck. [-o<
Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.
"The path of true happiness is one of integrating and fully accepting all aspects of our experience." - Sharon Salzberg from "Loving Kindness"