For the family

Kinda like a prayer chain ...
Post Reply
User avatar
Crazy Healer Lady
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3589
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:31 pm
Location: Mission, BC
Zodiac: Libra
Contact:

For the family

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Sat Dec 03, 2005 7:54 pm

Okay...

I think I've posted a lot of requests for blessings. I'm sorry, lol.
It's okay to not send! :P

My sister is adopted. I am not. She is 2 yrs older than me. She has just started talking with her real father about 2 weeks ago. We met him today. She went to the city with him for the weekend. Will not meet her mom yet, although she just saw pictures and apparently she's the spitting image of her.

She is so stressed. So am I. I feel incredibly uneasy. Not sure why, lol.

My sister is one of those people in the family that will do anything they can just to ruin everyone, to hurt them, to make them pay for imaginary injustice. Apparently the women in her "real" family are just the same :lol: Everyone looks like her. Every kid looks like her daughter. I am so weirded out. So is she. It is so strange that she actually look like people.

Actually, it's funny: Her biological dad looks like every man she's ever called attractive, every guy she's ever gone out with and liked. Ha ha ha! Who thought Freud's theories actually have a leg to stand on!!!

I don't know what's going to happen in the next few weeks or months. It could be that they start coming to the family dinners. It could be that my sister leaves and takes Shania from us, which would devestate us. Maybe that's what I am worried about...

Anyway, a few nice thoughts in the way of the family and the situation would be apprectiated! Just a little nudge back to sanity :lol:
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

User avatar
gwmRNpozSC
Level 1
Level 1
Posts: 16
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2005 7:28 pm
Contact:

On adoption & finding your "real" (?) parents.

Post by gwmRNpozSC » Sun Dec 04, 2005 1:03 am

As with the "anonymous" programs (AA, NA, etc.), I'll just relate my experiences, and feel free to take what you want, and to leave the rest!

Sister was the first, the illegitimate child of my cousin, Mary. Mary was 20, an unwed mother, and things were different in 1964. So, since we were in Indiana, and family was in Michigan, we hit Mary's pregnancy at our house, and mother & father adopted sister.

I did not find out until I was in my 20's. Our parents told me, because they wanted my opinion: should sister be told.

I said "Yes!" My reasons were legitimate. Uncle Keith, a brother-in-law to mama, had cancer. His family had cancer. Her biological father's family had cancer. She had a right to know she was at risk.

Her reactions were all over the map. From bland apathy ("Oh! That's why Mary's pictures of her at my age look exactly like me!) to misery ("She didn't want me!")

Mary got mad, then over that, and eventually she and sister talked about it.

A now EX-friend (Pat), was adopted. She constantly griped that she "had" to meet her "real" parents, despite my admonitions that they might not want to meet her, and that if she thought it was always like on TV, she was wrong.

She never met them.

Back to sister.

The week she died, a bunch of my relatives from Michigan came down. This included my cousin Mary, her (other) daughter (Carla), her son-in-law, and sister's biological father.

I was appauled when Mary announced that she'd "come to think" of sister as HER daughter, and Carla announced that she'd "come to think" of sister as HER sister.

I was offended. I was jealous.

Who did sister come to when she was hurt, or scared? To ME! To BROTHER! Not to THEM.

What your sister will or will not do is yet to be known. An unpredictable variable.
RoBeRt., the OfFiCiAl ReGiStErEd Nut.
Loris, South Carolina, USA.

User avatar
Stormy
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 733
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2004 6:11 pm
Location: Pittsburgh Area, PA
Contact:

Post by Stormy » Mon Dec 05, 2005 7:49 pm

NEVER feel bad for asking for blessings dear! I know that even those who don't have the time to reply to every request for blessings still keep those folks in their thoughts and prayers - I know I've missed replying to a few because I was so busy but I still read them and still made sure to add them into my daily "talks" with the Goddess and God.

Will do same for you and hope that all turns out well - it is kinda wierd though how she is just like folks she's biologically related to even though she never met them until now... makes one wonder...
Stormy ~~}~}-:>
Aut viam inveniam aut faciam

User avatar
Crazy Healer Lady
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3589
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:31 pm
Location: Mission, BC
Zodiac: Libra
Contact:

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:14 pm

Aw thanks ^__^

Yes I've done the same: Sent Reiki/blessings to those who have asked without replying, especially on another forum I belong too, which is just too darn busy for me to keep up with.

It is very strange... Her dad stayed for dinner last night. Boy was that strange... He's very nice, has a good head on his shoulders, but has not told his wife about my sister. When asked why, "She's Cuban." :evil: And he's not politically correct at all. But my niece sure warmed up to him yesterday. He's got many kids - from 2 families plus my sister.

Next - probably near January - she'll contact her mom... My stomach is a bit easier now. Tonnes of fights around here lately, though...
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

User avatar
Chelle
Level 4
Level 4
Posts: 117
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2005 1:49 pm
Location: Wiltshire, England
Contact:

Post by Chelle » Tue Dec 06, 2005 11:04 am

Blessings and good thoughts on there way to you :hug:
I'm sure she would not take your niece away form you :-)
Be what you are and not what other people want you to be!!! xxxx

User avatar
Willow
Level 86
Level 86
Posts: 2550
Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2004 9:35 am
Location: Canada
Contact:

Post by Willow » Tue Dec 06, 2005 3:27 pm

Ditto to what stormy said, never feel bad, we join boards like this to meet people and make friends, and friends are for leaning on.
I think the fights are from the tension. I hope everything goes well for you dear.
Blessings
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

User avatar
Crazy Healer Lady
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3589
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:31 pm
Location: Mission, BC
Zodiac: Libra
Contact:

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Wed Dec 21, 2005 3:10 pm

Okay a little update for you all:

My sister's biological mother phoned her about a week and a half ago, because her biological dad talked to her and told her everything. They sound exactly alike (I spoke with her on the phone briefly). She has two daughters of 3 and 7 I believe.

The problem is that my sister started talking about my niece's "Real auntie" because she was in a bad mood. I got very jealous but kept my trap shut. She keeps referring to her "real family" whenever she is upset with us, which is constant and for no reason.

But if it's not one thing for her to scream at us for it is another #-o I'm just extemely paranoid lately that she'll start calling this one her real auntie in front of my niece. She often says (loudly, I might add, just enough for me to hear) to Shania, "Your auntie is such a ______. She is so _______," saying complete lies to her just to make me upset. I confonted her about it. I said, "How would you feel if I did that about you?" and she replied, "You better not! If you do I'll _____." Of course I do not, because I think it is so terrible to use a child this way, and love my niece too much to ever try to make her think bad things about the person she loves most.

Okay that is my update, which turned into a little upset tangent, but there we go. Back to reading other posts!
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

User avatar
scoia
Level 7
Level 7
Posts: 184
Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 2:49 pm
Location: Australia
Contact:

Post by scoia » Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:25 pm

Argh, I'm so sorry about your situation, it sounds mightily er..$$%@%$ up.

Blessings, and your niece will know you care about her and treasure your relationship regardless of her mother. Young 'uns are very perceptive and know "who's on their side" so to speak. Hopefully your sister learns to value her "real family" more, as in, the one that's cared for her over the years.

User avatar
Crazy Healer Lady
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3589
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:31 pm
Location: Mission, BC
Zodiac: Libra
Contact:

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Wed Dec 21, 2005 5:43 pm

Aw thanks Scoia ^__^

I think also what will stick in her mind is when I pick her up and make a bubble of protection around us when she's in a situation where she is around harmful or negative energies, and when that entity was in her room. I can't wait to teach her that!!!
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

User avatar
davisherm
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 977
Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2003 7:00 pm
Location: The Wood
Zodiac: Aries
Contact:

Post by davisherm » Wed Dec 21, 2005 7:04 pm

I wish I could give you some words of wisdom. But really all I can say is that you just need to be the best example to your neice. No matter if there's no blood connection, she's still your family.

That applies to your sister too. I'm sure you've already done it, but make sure she knows that you feel she's family no matter what. Hopefully that will overcome her need to make you feel bad when she's upset over something.

Blessings!
"I just want to play on my Panpipes..." Cake

User avatar
Crazy Healer Lady
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3589
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:31 pm
Location: Mission, BC
Zodiac: Libra
Contact:

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Wed Dec 21, 2005 10:26 pm

I'm sure you've already done it, but make sure she knows that you feel she's family no matter what. Hopefully that will overcome her need to make you feel bad when she's upset over something.
We've done all we can do. :lol: She's always been family, but she has always had this hate for all of us since she was adopted, maybe because as a baby she felt she was stolen? She wants revenge for something.

Anyway, enough griping. :lol: I keep doing all I can do to heal our family, and myself, and it will follow its own course I suppose.

This is a little creepy. I've given you all a small window into my family life. *dances to distract*
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

User avatar
davisherm
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 977
Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2003 7:00 pm
Location: The Wood
Zodiac: Aries
Contact:

Post by davisherm » Thu Dec 22, 2005 6:54 am

Crazy Healer Lady wrote:
*dances to distract*

:-? Whoah... Wait... what's going on again? :-?
"I just want to play on my Panpipes..." Cake

User avatar
Stormy
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 733
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2004 6:11 pm
Location: Pittsburgh Area, PA
Contact:

Post by Stormy » Thu Dec 22, 2005 7:26 am

Ditto what Davish said - I'm so sorry that she is being so cruel to you and your family and so proud of you that you don't stoop to her level of game playing. I'm sure it's so hard not to want to do or say SOMETHING and I commend you for not wanting to confuse and upset your niece anymore than she already is.
Stormy ~~}~}-:>
Aut viam inveniam aut faciam

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests