Sad News

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Mahala
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Sad News

Post by Mahala » Wed Jul 08, 2009 11:08 pm

Monday night, my uncle passed away after a hard battle with cancer in his esophagus. I've been having a bit of a hard time, with dad so vulnerable. Mom is being... to put it bluntly, an ice queen. I did what I could, on a 24 hour notice and with three hours of sleep, to aid my uncle in his crossing and to aid my family with their grief. I just wanted to let you all know if I don't seem to be myself in the next little while. I'm doing okay, but I'm trying to help dad be strong.

I was talking to my parents, and somehow the afterlife was brought up. Dad was asking bout why his brother was 'chosen', and I told him that, perhaps, his brother had been chosen by the Divine for a greater task, something more important than his life on earth. I find it interesting that dad will accept that possibility, even if it's a little too Pagan for the rest of the family.

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white_harmony
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Re: Sad News

Post by white_harmony » Thu Jul 09, 2009 12:20 am

Awe darlin. That's some sad news indeed. Lots of love to you and your family. :hug:
~ The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death ~

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Re: Sad News

Post by Hytegia » Thu Jul 09, 2009 5:54 am

I wish saying "send them my reguards of loving and blessing" would be too long.

Mahala, we all love you here... I'm sure your Uncle's looking to your father now, and trying to reassure him that he's in a better place, along with you.

:hug:
MY heart goes out to you and your family, Mahala. Blessed Be-
"Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink."

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Crazy Healer Lady
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Re: Sad News

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Thu Jul 09, 2009 5:55 am

How wonderful that you were able to help. I am sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
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The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

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Max
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Re: Sad News

Post by Max » Thu Jul 09, 2009 11:20 am

Lots of hugs for you in your grief Mahala :GHug: @};--
"I am not young enough to know everything." Oscar Wilde

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Re: Sad News

Post by Kitsune » Thu Jul 09, 2009 5:07 pm

Ah Malhala... Just remember, when you need someone to lean against, we'll all be here for you. Be well.
Trying to create a world, even in words, is good occupational therapy for lunatics who think they're God, and an excellent argument for Polytheism. -S.M. Stirling

http://www.bamatthews.comThe Writings and Musings of B.A. Matthews

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Mahala
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Re: Sad News

Post by Mahala » Fri Jul 10, 2009 12:25 am

I'll miss my uncle, but I've come to terms quickly with his death. He was a very spiritual man and when I was meditating, I felt a strong presence of comfort and love. I am trying to be good to my dad, he has been feeling really bad lately and mom is still not doing much to help. (He doesn't sleep well and it puts his back out of whack. On top of that, she's picking all the right places to emotionally prod with sharp sticks.)

I'm glad I have someone to lean on, so I don't grow up too fast! The worst part right now is that another of my uncles was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer, before my deceased uncle was. He's doing okay, even though he fell recently, but he's looking at another 6+ months of life.

I'm curious about something, too, and wondered if maybe one of you know anything that could satisfy my curiosity. My deceased uncle was given chemo, even though his doctors knew he was terminal. I was wondering if the chemo could have altered/destroyed his immune system and shortened his life? My other uncle refused chemo, and is using diet and holistic treatments. Maybe it's something to do with the type of cancer.

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Re: Sad News

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Fri Jul 10, 2009 12:32 am

Chemo is notorious for destroying immune systems and weakening a person. It has saved lives, but I think if I ever get cancer, I will refuse it. It's never guaranteed, and in my opinion, causes more deaths (indirectly) than it saves. Many patients end up with pneumonia, or with C-Diff, although rarely do they die of C-Diff! But it can certainly wreak havoc on an already compromised body.

It sounds like your uncle is letting you know that he's ok :) I'm sorry that your mom is using the opportunity to jab at weak spots in your dad. For his back, tell him to put a box under his knees, so that his body is in a "Z" shape, although the diagonal line in the "Z" should be horizontal. A few hours of that brings great relief.
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The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

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Re: Sad News

Post by Willow » Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:07 pm

I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs and blessings your way (if a bit belated)
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

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Mahala
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Re: Sad News

Post by Mahala » Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:11 am

:sad5: My other uncle is on his way to the next world... We got the call. He's got a few days. it finally hit me, that I had lost one uncle, with another slipping away. I broke down and cried. One funeral was bad enough, but another i just two weeks?! Mom's making it hard on dad, and I'm struggling with it all... Kitsune, I'm sorry if I delay my project again. I know it will be impossible for me to work productively for the next week.

Thanks to all those who have offered their words... You have all been very kind to do so. I hope I don't have to go through this again anytime soon... :cry:

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Re: Sad News

Post by Kitsune » Mon Jul 20, 2009 11:49 am

Malhala! I told you, the most important thing is that you're okay. Take as much time as you need. Heck, I have enough trouble writing in the summer, let alone writing with the sort of pressure you've been under the last few weeks.

I am very sorry for your loss. You have my sympathies. I'm certain Samhain will be a very emotionally charged time for you as well this year. Hopefully it will be a very healing time as well.

You'll be in my thoughts. :hug:
Trying to create a world, even in words, is good occupational therapy for lunatics who think they're God, and an excellent argument for Polytheism. -S.M. Stirling

http://www.bamatthews.comThe Writings and Musings of B.A. Matthews

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Crazy Healer Lady
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Re: Sad News

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Mon Jul 20, 2009 4:29 pm

Oh hun I'm sorry. If you need someone to chat to my MSN is on my profile and my email too. I don't know how you feel about phonecalls to people you have only met online but my toll-free number is in my post about greenfeather.ca

I know how it feels to have a lot of family and friends pass away at once. When I was growing up I seemed to go through phases where family and friends would die. I have been to many funerals and memorials. If you need to chat with someone who can relate to how you are feeling, I'm only a few buttons away.

These last moments with your uncle are a blessing. Take this time to finish unfinished business. Tell him how you feel. Ask his advice. You would be surprised how open and wise people are when their time is near. If he is far away, call him. Absolutely give him his rest time, but see him as much as you can. I am sure he will love the gesture too - maybe also let him know that if he wishes more rest and alone time to tell you with no hesitations, and then you can tell other family members who he might be nervous of telling.

Mahala I feel for you going through all of this. I will be sending many blessings and some help for you and your family, and for your uncle as well. :hug:
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

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Max
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Re: Sad News

Post by Max » Tue Jul 21, 2009 2:16 am

Mahala I know we haven't known each other for long, but feel free to message me, I've gone through similar things lately, though I'm a little further down the line. I will be here for you, to listen or to sympathise :GHug:
"I am not young enough to know everything." Oscar Wilde

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Mahala
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Re: Sad News

Post by Mahala » Mon Jul 27, 2009 10:01 am

I'm doing okay now. Sorry for taking so long to reply, I've been busy with all sorts of things. I've gotten with a new guy and he's been a great help to me, especially for the first day after the second funeral, when I realized what had happened. Dad's doing well, but something was stirred up by my mother when she tried too hard to help gramps. (He's a stubborn old man, jus' like my dad's going to be, lol. :roll: )

Thanks for the offers guys, I've always been a lucky one.

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