Mrs. Willow!

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Draconia
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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by Draconia » Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:21 am

May the Lord and Lady smile upon your union. Congrat's from our family. The pictures were absolutely beautiful! As a personal interest the chefs did an excellent job on the food presentation, and I'm sure it tasted as good as it looked.
I pray that the rest of your lives together are as beautiful as the wedding. Remember that marriage is a team effort, I know because throughout all the hardships that Maelroth and I have faced, we always know we can make it because we have each other. I know my husband is truly my soulmate and hope you have found the same in your groom. Congrat's and blessings once again! \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ \:D/ \:D/

:hug:
" Drive my dead thoughts over the universe like withered leaves to quicken a new birth!" -Shelley's Ode to the West Wind



Merry Meet, Merry Part, and Merry Meet again and may the god's perserve the craft

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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by Willow » Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:01 am

Thanks for the blessings and the advice.

It is always inspiring to hear of other relationships that made it through the tough times.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by socialgreen » Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:35 pm

Mrs. Willow? Or would it be more acurate to say Mr. Willow :lol: Congradulations are in order for the newlyweds. The wife and I been married for over 31 years and she is doing better despite the disabilities. I know, it's been a very long time since the last visit here. Take care.

John
social
If more of us valued food and cheer and song
above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
-- J. R. R. Tolkien

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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by white_harmony » Thu Oct 02, 2008 2:36 am

Aye, very long time Socialgreen! I saw your name and I thought, wow, haven't seen that name in a bit! lol Hope all is well for you hun :-D
~ The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death ~

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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by davisherm » Thu Oct 02, 2008 3:34 am

There's nothing wrong with him becoming a Mr. Willow. This IS the 21st century, after all. :-D

Glad to see you, Social. Especially with the news that your wife is doing better.

You've been missed.
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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by Willow » Thu Oct 02, 2008 6:18 am

He did tend to use my last name in Scotland, for some reason scottish people cannot spell Italian last names.

Welcome back social green, and thanks for the story...31 years seems so far away right now.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by socialgreen » Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:18 pm

31 years is now but a memory like yesterday. You will see. My absence was due to to many circumstances since 2004. I believe I came to peace with a few things and had a question settled a few months ago. The things we go through are learning experiences. I also stopped doing a certain project with a couple of other people on the internet. I don't believe that project would be of much interest here. One thing I am certain of is that the end result would not be what I would have expected to be since certain people would have made negative changes.

I rejoined ADF Druidry and rejoined the local grove in Erie, PA. I even rekindled my friendship with a wiccan friend. I am currently reading In Search of Indo-Europeans which is somewhat of a dry read but I find it fascinating though. I am taking this renewed Pagan life slow as to learn carefully. No sense in trying to rush things.

Bright Blessings,

John
social
If more of us valued food and cheer and song
above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
-- J. R. R. Tolkien

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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by Draconia » Fri Oct 03, 2008 10:37 am

Well it is great to see another one of us has found their way back! Welcome back social green! Willow I see nothing wrong with the groom taking the brides name. Congrats again.
" Drive my dead thoughts over the universe like withered leaves to quicken a new birth!" -Shelley's Ode to the West Wind



Merry Meet, Merry Part, and Merry Meet again and may the god's perserve the craft

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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by Kystar » Fri Oct 03, 2008 11:02 am

I don't remember the book it was in, but when I was doing research for a Renaissance-era Living History group that never took off, I read of a few rare instances where the groom took the wife's family name.

Usually, this happened when the groom was of a lower social level than the bride (usually a lesser nobleman's son marrying a slightly higher ranked nobleman's daughter...or a Knight's son, or merchant prince's marrying to a lesser noble's daughter), and the bride was the last of her family line...no cousins or uncles or brothers to take the name.

Another way they occasionally kept a family name alive was to write a betrothal contract that specified the first son of the union was the groom's heir, and the second one was the heir to the wife's father. Usually, this was done when the two families were close in rank and riches...and allies.

So, it's not a new concept...just one that wasn't widely used or known.
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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by davisherm » Fri Oct 03, 2008 5:47 pm

Not exactly a new concept, no. But certainly not unheard of in this day and age.

For example, Sapphire and I decided against her giving up her name and taking mine. We instead hyphenated our names together and we took each other's names that way.

I like to think of it as marrying into her clan. We used her family's tartan in the wedding ceremony, as well, so it makes even more sense. Just my two cents.
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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Fri Oct 03, 2008 6:16 pm

Davish, I love that you guys did that. Absolutely amazing. My SO changes his mind like the wind about that. "Oh, hun, what will you do with your last name?" and then "I can't do this if you won't take my last name." #-o I thought it was a guy thing. Glad to know it's a "him" thing!
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

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davisherm
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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by davisherm » Fri Oct 03, 2008 6:48 pm

For the most part, I do think it's a guy thing. The standard dude has been raised with a preconceived notion that when HE gets married HIS wife will take HIS name. He's not really to blame in that misconception, as today's society and the way men are raised by their parents has a ton to do with it. I really think that my involvement in a faith that recognizes and reveres BOTH the male and female aspects of nature and the divine helped me understand that marriage is union between TWO souls. It should be shared in all aspects, including names. Sapphire happens to agree. For us, it works. What can I say? We're not exactly the typical American couple.
"I just want to play on my Panpipes..." Cake

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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by Kitsune » Fri Oct 03, 2008 8:10 pm

I insisted on taking my husband's name... for really self-ish reasons.

As a good hardworking student, I always had my homework done on time, but as a 'W' last name, I always went last. Then I found true love in a guy whose last name starts with an 'A'. :-D I was sold, then and there! :lol:

On the other hand, at least one of my friends has said that I'm a vidictively cruel person to subject my children to torments based on my wacky childhood issues. :roll:
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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by socialgreen » Fri Oct 03, 2008 8:31 pm

davisherm wrote:
For the most part, I do think it's a guy thing. The standard dude has been raised with a preconceived notion that when HE gets married HIS wife will take HIS name. He's not really to blame in that misconception, as today's society and the way men are raised by their parents has a ton to do with it.
That is correct and there is a lot of misconceptions in American society as a whole. My original post was a joke not to be taken literally.

John
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If more of us valued food and cheer and song
above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
-- J. R. R. Tolkien

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Re: Mrs. Willow!

Post by Kystar » Fri Oct 03, 2008 8:51 pm

Actually, I chose to take my hubby's name to distance myself from an emotionally abusive family.

It was actually a profound sort of thing for me...to change my name to reflect that I had found a family that didn't guilt me into some mold they had in their head. His mom and I actually get along great...and while I can't say I love his dad's sense of humor, we get along well, too. His extended family is slowly coming to know me better, so I'm making friends there, too.
You say "Witch" like it's a bad thing!

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