Ok, first, take about 2 cups white, never frozen/never refrigerated corn meal and put it in your mixing bowl. Throw in 1/2 a tbsp salt and mix really well. Set the bowl aside and put a medium size pot of water to boil. Once your water's boiling, slowly mix the water into the bowl a little at a time. Put the water back on the stove to keep it boiling. Keep adding water till the mix looks something like fluffy mashed potatoes, if its too wet it won't stick together to make patties. Put and heat skillet on the stove and cover the bottom with oil. Add more oil as needed, the corn bread tends to soak it up.Wet your hands and make a patty out of the mix using a heaping tbsp as a starter. Be sure to re-wet your hands before every patty. Corn breads done when it's golden brown on the outside.
I've found that if you add alot of different spices these easily become good offering 'cakes'. Another thing, if you like leftovers, wrap them in a paper towel and nuke them for 15 second on each side, almost perfect!

Maybe now you're starting to understand that while I may have been born predispositioned to be pretty batty, my parents saw to it that it was a certainty and completely unavoidable. -Me