Surprise! I write poetry now.

A song in my heart...
Post Reply
User avatar
Mahala
Level 15
Level 15
Posts: 432
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:24 pm
Location: Utah
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Contact:

Surprise! I write poetry now.

Post by Mahala » Sat Dec 08, 2007 5:38 pm

Yeppers, even if it's not the greatest stuff, it's still pretty good. I'm posting my favorite pieces. Give me a critique if you would. They've all got different little pre-writing stories or certain things that were happening as I wrote them, so they orbit mainly around my writing mood at the time of composure. Beware, as they have a somewhat... dark theme for me, even for love poems.
**drum roll**
Of 20 pieces, these FOUR are my favorites. Ignore the random (Belongs to) lines. They're just a little 'tag' for anyone that copies these... Yes, it's a HUGE monster post, but I write a full page, to save paper and empty my turn-of-the-moment muse.

Strong

If you can't escape this Hell
I'll gladly join you
To sit beside you and feel well
Rather than to be apart and to rue

If this is your nightmare
Bring it on
I will be there
I won't play pawn

If all I get is one smile
One short dry kiss
(Belongs to Mandie J. M.)
It's worth all the while
It's worth just that moment's bliss

I will not die
I won't let go so easily
I have to try
Even if it's not easy

When you're beside me
I feel more alive
Despite what's inside me
It's in that feeling I thrive
---
Trials of Hell-Eternal Love

Where once only darkness resided
Now joins hope and love
Where once only I presided
You're welcomed in from above

You settle down in the depths of my heart
To sit upon a throne with my soul
You give me a meaning and a whole new start
You helped to make me fully whole

Although we may both be far from 'normal'
If there is even such a thing
(Belongs to Mandie J. M.)
I never want to leave you at all
Not even in my deepest suffering

Take up hands and I'll walk beside you
Through the trials that try
I'll be there to guide you
You'll be my shoulder for when I cry
---
On Explaining True Love

True love
Is there such a thing?
Or is it all just blank
An imaginary feeling?

How can one tell
Love from lust?
is there a difference
like between cracks on a bust?

For me, I believe, i know mine is true
Things unique in my mind
(Belongs to Mandie J. M.)
That only make sense from my view

To explain to you
When you can't possibly understand
impossibly hard but yet
Still you demand

What more can I say?
What else can I do?

There's no way I could really
Prove it to you
It's not blind faith
No, not at all

Just believe me, that I am right
It is true
Just believe as I believe him
I wouldn't lie to you
---
Black Hour

It follows me
The faster I run
The slower time moves
My darkness
Coming to soothe
Dark of of the heart
But a heart have I
My demonic lover sings
A cryptic lullaby
Lilting, swaying
Gently sashaying
The deadly chorus of Hell
Down, down...
Beneath the sun
Down beneath
Clouds that run
Upon the earth
My heart does roam
Wandering to the
Darkened home
My love awaits
He's calling
It follows me, his lullaby
(Belongs to Mandie J. M.)
Soothing a broken heart that longs to cry
It's my charm, amulet, my talisman of protection
That I may see light in the dark
---

With all do courtesy and respect, please ask permission before copying these to ANY other place. I'm nice, I'll let you have it as long as my tag stays in or you put in that I am the author.

User avatar
underlilith
Level 8
Level 8
Posts: 233
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2007 2:55 pm
Location: Camp Pendleton, CA
Contact:

Post by underlilith » Tue Dec 11, 2007 11:44 am

It's pretty good, there are some things that you need to develope, but all in all a good couple of poems.

PS - that's not very dark (at least not to me), it's just slightly pessimistic, wich is perfectly normal. just don't think your this horrible dark person, cause your not, you actually seem like a very nice normal person.

Good luck writing more, if you write some more good ones feel free to share them :-D
"What is a god but a man who weilds the power of chaos?" - Peter Carroll

User avatar
Mahala
Level 15
Level 15
Posts: 432
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:24 pm
Location: Utah
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Contact:

Post by Mahala » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:02 pm

Thanks... to me, some of it is a bit dark, but of course I usually don't write what's really truly on my mind down. If someone ever saw that, I'd be put in a straight jacket for sure.

User avatar
Crazy Healer Lady
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3589
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:31 pm
Location: Mission, BC
Zodiac: Libra
Contact:

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:07 pm

I usually don't write what's really truly on my mind down. If someone ever saw that, I'd be put in a straight jacket for sure.
Ah, mon ami, we'd all be in straight jackets. This is one of the reasons I idolize the Shamanic perspective/action in all things psychological. Nothing is inherantly wrong with you. Demons, scary things, and suicidal ambitions all come out of the darkest regions of the mind, until you know the landscape of your soul. Once you know the landscape, you understand these things, which makes them not scary, which automatically changes their shape and form. What once showed as a demon for me turned into a lovely little redhead girl early on in my studies. Such is the mind. Bring light to dark, or more accurately, bring illumination so that you see your soul for what it is, not for the shadows it casts
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

User avatar
Mahala
Level 15
Level 15
Posts: 432
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:24 pm
Location: Utah
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Contact:

Post by Mahala » Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:40 pm

I guess. But people around here tend to judge very very harshly. So even if I'm a little coocoo, they see me as senial or crazy... blah blah blah. :roll:

User avatar
Crazy Healer Lady
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3589
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:31 pm
Location: Mission, BC
Zodiac: Libra
Contact:

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:01 pm

Then surely don't disappoint them!

When people thought that, I went around with a tail attached to my pants, and giving random surveys to strangers.
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

User avatar
underlilith
Level 8
Level 8
Posts: 233
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2007 2:55 pm
Location: Camp Pendleton, CA
Contact:

Post by underlilith » Thu Dec 13, 2007 10:25 am

I tend to find that some of my greatest and most illustrative creative thoughts come from the "dark" side of me.

I don't think of it as dark, for you must be intellectual enough to interpret and channel the energy efficiently.
"What is a god but a man who weilds the power of chaos?" - Peter Carroll

User avatar
Kitsune
Level 70
Level 70
Posts: 2097
Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2006 12:33 pm
Location: Calgary, Canada
Zodiac: Capricorn
Contact:

Post by Kitsune » Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:07 pm

Crazy, have I mentioned how much I love the way you think?

When people told me I was crazy, I would say thanks! :lol:

Then I'd come up with a brilliant plan for glueing a Tooney to the ground, just to see how many people would try to pick it up and what lengths they'd go to.

:lol:

I'm telling you, I think my next week or two's vacation is going to be hanging out with you. It would be a blast.... :-D
Trying to create a world, even in words, is good occupational therapy for lunatics who think they're God, and an excellent argument for Polytheism. -S.M. Stirling

http://www.bamatthews.comThe Writings and Musings of B.A. Matthews

User avatar
Crazy Healer Lady
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3589
Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:31 pm
Location: Mission, BC
Zodiac: Libra
Contact:

Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Thu Dec 13, 2007 5:11 pm

Why yes, yes it would! I can't believe how we met in person ONCE, and stayed until the restaurant kicked us out chatting excitedly, and then for hours in the parking lot freezing!

And I have a lovely friend who, I'm sure, would love to exchange healings. She's a Brennan student, and WOW... Her energy packs a punch!
I tend to find that some of my greatest and most illustrative creative thoughts come from the "dark" side of me.
You know, me too. I wrote my entire story out of the depression and suicidal me. Now, on the FINAL (I mean it this time) copy, the more developed, risen-from-all-of-that-cr** self has changed it into something better.
Crazy Healer Lady
Health and happiness to you!

The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

User avatar
Windwalker
Level 20
Level 20
Posts: 594
Joined: Mon Aug 28, 2006 11:01 pm
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Contact:

Post by Windwalker » Fri Dec 14, 2007 2:19 am

Crazy Healer Lady wrote:What once showed as a demon for me turned into a lovely little redhead girl early on in my studies.
Frankly, I'd be more comfortable if it stayed a demon :lol:
si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes

User avatar
underlilith
Level 8
Level 8
Posts: 233
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2007 2:55 pm
Location: Camp Pendleton, CA
Contact:

Post by underlilith » Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:19 am

Kitsune wrote:When people told me I was crazy, I would say thanks! :lol:
Hey! Me too! :lol:
"What is a god but a man who weilds the power of chaos?" - Peter Carroll

User avatar
Kitsune
Level 70
Level 70
Posts: 2097
Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2006 12:33 pm
Location: Calgary, Canada
Zodiac: Capricorn
Contact:

Post by Kitsune » Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:54 am

You know, Crazy, I forgot about that!

We did have to get kicked out didn't we? I do remember that we stayed in the parking lot freezing in the rain until after midnight. :lol:

Strange how chatting with someone in the rain and dark for hours can be a great memory. :-o

I can't wait to do it again. We will need much organic apple juice. :-D
Trying to create a world, even in words, is good occupational therapy for lunatics who think they're God, and an excellent argument for Polytheism. -S.M. Stirling

http://www.bamatthews.comThe Writings and Musings of B.A. Matthews

User avatar
Mahala
Level 15
Level 15
Posts: 432
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:24 pm
Location: Utah
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Contact:

Post by Mahala » Sun Dec 16, 2007 8:08 am

Wonderful news!!
Since I started writing, I got my friend Britt into it, and she's amazing... she's got some publishable pieces. I told her to try publishing them.
So now I have a friend to share with. I've aso been doing creative writing ti strengthen my skills.
I found out just how lovable, unpredictable, and violent my inner self is. Turbulent little pet beast. I think I'm insane, but I'm happiest there, inside my little, twisted brain... *evil giggles*

User avatar
Mahala
Level 15
Level 15
Posts: 432
Joined: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:24 pm
Location: Utah
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Contact:

Post by Mahala » Sun Jul 06, 2008 6:59 am

http://poisonedparadise-marziba.blogspot.com/

I started a blog to put my writing and poetry into, browse freely if you want. Some of it really sucks in my own opinion, but other than that it's all good stuff.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests