Right Gentelmen. NOW it's OUR turn.....

A parrot walks into a bar carrying an Athame...
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Ragnar
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Right Gentelmen. NOW it's OUR turn.....

Post by Ragnar » Thu May 24, 2007 2:16 am

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only,
if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't
Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes
you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
(We will ignore the fact he was trying to find India.)

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know
you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as motorbikes, Pro/contra various weapons systems, or beer.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

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Crazy Healer Lady
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Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Thu May 24, 2007 6:36 am

=D> =D> =D> =D>

Brilliant is the man that came up with this!

Because he realizes he will be sleeping on the couch ;)

I will have to show it to my SO. :roll: He will laugh pretty hard, as I did!
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The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

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Post by Willow » Thu May 24, 2007 7:01 am

LOL....I don't think I am dating a real guy.

HE does the opposite of most things on this list.

My favourite is the directions one. Why won't you ask?
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

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Post by Kitsune » Thu May 24, 2007 8:38 am

We were heading to an anime festival here in town during the long weekend, and we found some groupies who decided to follow us to the next train station (they weren't from Calgary) and about half way there me and Joe had different ideas of which direction to take (both would have got us there, although I will admit Joe's was faster by about 4 minutes). Anyways, the groupies stopped, looked at both of us and mused out loud WHO they were going to follow. #-o As they put it, He may know a faster way, but if he's an idiot and gets lost, SHE'LL be willing to ask for directions. They finally chose him because as they put it, "Sorry he has the Y chromozone and if you come with us then there's no chance of not getting there!"

:lol:

I was going to hurt the guy, but decided that he wasn't worth the effort. :lol: :lol:
Trying to create a world, even in words, is good occupational therapy for lunatics who think they're God, and an excellent argument for Polytheism. -S.M. Stirling

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Post by underlilith » Fri May 25, 2007 7:22 am

That is AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!! =D> =D> =D> =D>

Did you come up with that yourself or get it somewhere?
"What is a god but a man who weilds the power of chaos?" - Peter Carroll

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Ragnar
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Post by Ragnar » Fri May 25, 2007 8:46 pm

underlilith wrote: Did you come up with that yourself or get it somewhere?
A bit of both. I added one or two of my own.

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Post by Brown Eyed Girl » Wed May 30, 2007 3:24 am

Heh Heh, I that had me giggling xD

But I only have two pairs of shoes :P
Who is "I" without a past? A river without a source? An event without a cause?

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Post by Jescissa » Wed May 30, 2007 8:28 am

:lol: Classic!

I have around 20 pairs of shoes... I say around 20 because I know I have more than 15 and less than 30... 20 is a safe guess :lol:
"If you trust in yourself and believe in your dreams and follow your star...you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy. Goodbye." - Miss Tick, Terry Pratchett's Wee Free Men

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Post by Kitsune » Wed May 30, 2007 11:52 am

Let me see here... Shoes....

I have my Black knee high boots, My Black runners, my Black waterproof winter boots (a little higher than ankle high), and my $120 pair of sandals. :roll:

I went insane this year buying them. Usually any more than $30 pair and I turn away, but this year, I found this gorgeous pair of Clarks, and couldn't resist treating myself. They are awesomely comfortable.

:-? Oh, and I have a pair of sandal heels that I bought to go with my wedding dress. I don't wear them often because Calgary tends to be too cold to wear open shoes at night. So I only get to wear them in the height of Summer and Early Fall heat. :lol:
Trying to create a world, even in words, is good occupational therapy for lunatics who think they're God, and an excellent argument for Polytheism. -S.M. Stirling

http://www.bamatthews.comThe Writings and Musings of B.A. Matthews

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Brown Eyed Girl
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Post by Brown Eyed Girl » Wed May 30, 2007 1:40 pm

I can beet you on price...

xD

My Knee length newrocks where... *cringe* £150 (According to Google
UK£ 150 = 297.61500 US$)
Who is "I" without a past? A river without a source? An event without a cause?

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Post by Crazy Healer Lady » Wed May 30, 2007 5:14 pm

Um... I paid $20 for my runners, and because I bought them, I got my fancy shoes (black - you know, work, Hospice, etc) for $10.

That, and I have 2 pair of $3 sandals.

My SO has more shoes than I do! But I am NEVER stupid enough to ask if I look fat in something - If he says yes, he'll get a black eye. If he says no, I'm sure he's lying. O_O
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The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness. -CWG

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Post by Willow » Sun Jun 03, 2007 11:33 am

4 pairs
runners, hikers, sandals and dress shoes. They are all expensive (except the dress shoes) but that is becasue most of them are technical gear either for camping or racing. As well, they are all over 3 years old.

So I feel no guilt. I think I would have more, but I just love my feet too much to put them in anything that isn't extremely comfortable.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991)

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Post by Jescissa » Mon Jun 04, 2007 2:57 pm

I am guilty of buying shoes I like the look of that don't even fit me :oops: My boyfriend despairs!
"If you trust in yourself and believe in your dreams and follow your star...you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy. Goodbye." - Miss Tick, Terry Pratchett's Wee Free Men

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Post by Ragnar » Mon Jun 04, 2007 9:28 pm

I just wait for the navy to issue me new ones.. Don't have to pay one single cent. :-D

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SageWolf
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Post by SageWolf » Thu Jun 07, 2007 9:48 am

ermm I won't say how many pairs of shoes I have, It's an obscene amount, I will say that I've barely spent any money on them though, I have my mother Who (And Im not kidding) owns over 500 pairs of shoes. And she still buys more, then realizes they are too small for her and gives them too me. Last time I visited her, she gave me 5 pairs of shoes. And 3 of em were nike air's.

Anyway. That was funny.


I'm in shape Round is a shape....... you got that right brother.

Sagewolf

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