I would like to say that my sympathy stops if you can't take responsibility for your own actions.
I am greatly overweight, a problem started in childhood, when my family made me feel guilty for eating. At 8, I simply didn't understand why... Mind you, I've always tended towards eating more than I should as well...
It doesn't help.
However, I don't expect other people to take care of me, because I have screwed up. I take responsibility for my actions, including over-eating.
And when I take more action then just healthier eating choices, that will be my victory as well, and not anybody else's.
I feel that if you're taking responsibility for your actions, you deserve help... I also feel that if you've been offered help a couple times, and continually refuse it, then you're on your own.
However, I'll still be there for them, if they request help later.
I simply don't have the time to be worried about people who don't want my help anyway. I simply keep an eye on the problem and move on. And if that's considered cold, well, it doesn't bother me one bit!
On a side note... I am constantly amazed about how open we can all be with each other, and not get into flaming wars. Everybody here is so accepting, that even if they disagree with the message, they can put their irritation to the side while discussing it. This is a tremendous feeling of empowerment, to be able to speak about mature subjects, in a mature fashion, without anybody cutting in and saying that because you're not politically correct, you're wrong. I love my online board... They often understand me better than my biological family... (Except of course, Grimwell, but then again, there's I reason I'm marrying him