Prayers Around The Zodiac

ARIES Dear God, please give me patience... and could you do it right now?
TAURUS Dear God, help me accept change, but not too quick.
GEMINI Dear God! Who is God? Where is God? Why is God?
CANCER Dear God!!!
LEO Yes?
VIRGO Dear God, please make us perfect and don't mess it up like You did the last time.
LIBRA Dear God, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what do you think is best?
SCORPIO Our Father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even though the b*****ds don't deserve it!
SAGITTARIUS Dear Lord, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times, help me stop exaggerating.
CAPRICORN Dear God! I'd like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!
AQUARIUS Dear God, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!!
PISCES Dear Lord, as long as I'm going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight, please use the stimulation for Thy glory.