Can I Ask You A Question?
Taliesin Athor Govannon
I am a very public Pagan. I am a long-haired male, bearded, fond of dressing in black, with a rather large pewter pentagram (my only piece of jewelry...REALLY noticeable against a plain black background) around my neck. In other words, I've never tried to hide my identity as a Witch...my broom closet has screen doors in it!
Now, any of you other public types out there will know what I'm talking about when I say that I tend to get a LOT of questions from non-Pagans. (NOTE: Since there are some who dislike the terms "cowan" and "mundane", I will henceforth refer to such people as "metaphysically challenged") Some are rude, some are ignorant, and some are in a class of their own.
It can be difficult to know how to answer these people. After all, some of them may never get the opportunity to hang with real occult/Witch types, and probably wonder if we all work for those "1-900-YOU-PUTZ" type psychic lines. I, however, have quite a bit of experience interacting with such types, and have a huge collection of "Save your soul now" style pamphlets to prove it. As a public Pagan service (and also because I've been spending all of my time lately writing love songs to a beautiful blue-eyed Witch and thus have NO other ideas ready), I have decided to give you a list of my favorite questions from the metaphysically challenged, along with possible answers. (Please note that these are POSSIBLE answers, and I assume no liability for personal injury resulting from their use. Remember, it's safer to be a smart-ass in print than it is in real life.)
Top Ten Questions From The Metaphysically Challenged
- "Is that there one of those quartz crystals around your neck?" (No, it's a CIA transmitter...)
- (while pointing to any occult/Pagan book in your possession) "What do you have there?" (A BOOK...see the pretty words? Oooooooohhhhhhhh........)
- (same as above) "What book you got there?" ("Build A Thermonuclear Weapon From Ordinary Household Goods In Three Days"...why?)
- "Are you going to Hell?" (No, but it's on my way if you want dropped off...")
- (While looking at pentagram) "Is that a satanic symbol?" (No, it's a Masonic symbol...would you like to donate to Shriner's Hospital?)
- "Do you believe in God?" (Which one?)
- "How does someone become a Witch?" (Well, first there's the written exam, and then the swimsuit competition...)
- "Can you do a spell on me?" (Don't tempt me, please...)
- (Pointing to pentagram) "What are you, Jewish?" (Shalom!!!)
- (A real experience) "Well, I like you...you seem like a nice person. I'm really worried about all of this occult stuff you're into though...why don't you come and talk to my pastor? He knows lots about occult stuff, and I think he can set you straight...you might even find Jesus! But before you do that, could you give me a tarot reading???" (No, but I'll give your pastor one...)
Blessed Bea (Andyyyyyyyyy!!!! Circle's cast!!!!)
Taliesin Athor Govannon