ABC's of Neopagandom
Geoff Johnson
Just to confuse you all:
Altar- To change, deform, or rearrange.
Black Magic- Magic used by those with much pigmentation in their skin.
Centering- In the case of public rituals, this practice in done to alter the alignment of text on flyers.
Circle- A term used by techno-Pagans when refering to circle-dot mode, the storage of binary units using a code of plane figures with a bounding edge equidistant from a fixed point where some of these figures have dots, and some do not.
The Craft- A movie made in 1996 by Sony Pictures which stars Robin Tunney.
Cove- A small sheltered bay, creek, or inlet of the sea.
Coven- Referring to or being cove-like.
Discord- The appropriate musical notes to be played at dis time in the ritual.
Esbat- Spanish for "it is a flying mammal."
Flying- Something which witches do. Recent surveys show that TWA is the most favored method, though some traditionalists stick with smaller single-engined airplanes.
Glossary- A place where they add gloss to ceramics.
Grounding- When all young children who have misbehaved during the ritual are sent to their rooms for the weekend.
Hain- Sam Hain, founder of a successful company which makes underwear.
Handfasting- During protests, this is done to ensure the difficulty of ones removal by use of handcuffs.
Incense- When capable of reasonable judgement, when acting sensible.
Jack-o-lantern- In the Pagan playing cards, it is the card of the suit of lights (traje de luces) higher than a ten but lower than a queen.
Karma- An old Star Trek term from the original series which stands for Klingon and Romulan Military Alliance.
Lammas- Animals of south America of the family Camelidae.
Magick- An art made popular by David Copperfield and Harry Houdini.
Nine- The most Pagans you can fit in a standard phone booth in Iowa City. (Trust me on this one)
Orgy- The ending often used by technopagans at the end of their URL.
Pentagram- A five sided cracker.
Quest- What deities send you on when they are bored and have nothing better to do.
Rowan- A term used on slave ships when the slaves have rested long enough and need to continue rowing.
Sabbat- Of or relating to hydrogenated organic compounds. The term comes from the French chemist Paul Sabatier.
Skyclad- A material similar to nickel-clad, though with ozone instead of nickel.
Spell- A turn at work, a shift.
Talisman- Opposite of Shortisman.
Underwear- See Hain.
Virginity- Sorry, no Pagan I've talked to seems to know what this is.
White Witch- A Caucasian member of the Wiccan religion.
Witch- Pronoun, what one or ones of several things pointed out. Used as a relative in a subordinate clause representing a noun or noun phrase in the principal sentence.
Xerox- The easiest and quickest way to go from a monotheistic religion to a polytheistic one. Though it may cost you ten cents.
Yorkshire- A place where they make a type of bread, perfect for rituals, though they call it pudding.
Zygurmist- The one who devotes his or her life to studying, in order to make rituals more fun.
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